My best man (we'll call him Chico) did his job when I said I wanted to go to Vegas for my bachelor party. Within 4 hours of me sending him that email, he'd booked tickets and 2 hotel rooms at TI for him, me, and 2 other groomsmen ("Rocky" and "Dawson").

We were in Vegas 8/28/09-8/30/09. I'd have posted this sooner, but there was that whole wedding deal going on last week.

(PS - I'm 27, as are the other guys, so the poolside debauchery below is not some sort of awful Lolita thing)

--Friday--

We hung out at Chico's and had a midnight screening of The Hangover to properly set the mood before our 8am flight. A short nap later, we were in lovely McCarran airport. After a 25-minute taxi line in the 105-degree heat, we're in a large cab with the self-proclaimed "best goddamn and most American taxi driver in Vegas!" The cab had little American flags on the front. Already shaping up to be a good trip.

At TI, we tried the $20 trick, but since we wanted adjoining rooms, no upgrades were available. The desk clerk was very friendly however, so it was a pleasant experience.

After dropping our stuff off, it was pool time! The TI pool is something else...a bit small, but with a good DJ and a ridiculous amount of good-looking females. If I ever have a daughter, I'm not letting her go to Vegas unless she's wearing a burlap sack. As the groom-to-be, I'm doing nothing but looking. This becomes difficult at times, especially when a very attractive lady sits down right next to me on the pool steps, reading (I am not kidding about this) a plastic-jacketed copy of "Tantric Bedroom Secrets." If that's not an opportunity for an opening line, I don't know what is. In order to keep my head from exploding, I proceed to order several overpriced mojitos and watch Dawson hit on everything that moves, without much luck. After taking part in an impromptu pool conga line and snagging several bead necklaces, I am approached by a different, extremely intoxicated young lady who suggests that we go elsewhere. I gently try to steer her towards Dawson, and she tips over in the pool. Being spoken for, this scene is quickly getting over my head, which means that it's poker time!

Having never been to the TI poker room, I didn't know what to expect. I found the room to be comfortable and generally well-run, with a lone exception (more on that later). The overpriced mojitos have given me quite the buzz, so I decide it's not quite time to play no-limit. I'm seated at the 2-4 limit game quite quickly. I'd read the reviews on the site, but was surprised at how soft the game was. Clearly, in such low fixed-limit, bluffing is silly, so I played very ABC poker and made a $140 profit in about 3 hours, while the other people there bluffed away good chunks of money, and chased gutshots to the end. No real memorable hands, and even if there were, I'm not sure the forum wants to read about a 2-4 hand anyway. After about 3 hours, Dawson goes staggering by on the arm of a, um, more "mature" woman than the majority at the pool. 2 minutes later, Chico and Rocky follow, pointing and laughing. This is clearly my cue to exit, so I rack up my profit.

Dawson finally disengages, and we go to dinner at Outback Steakhouse. Whooee. Rocky is sunburnt, Chico is still drunk, and Dawson is texting his older amor for later. Ah, Vegas.

After dinner, Rocky and Chico pass out for a bit, and Dawson and I look at the TI nightclubs. Mist is ok, although a bit small, but we get some free drink coupons from a floorman. Christian Audigier is quite nice, with the waterside patio. However, even though I'm not exactly old, the crowd at that place made me feel ancient. Dawson is doing his groomsman duties and keeping me quite intoxicated, which is nice. He spots his amor, and wobbles off to go flirt with her, which means more poker for me.

I intend to play no limit, but re-think this when I almost walk into a pillar in the casino. Hmm. 2-4 it is. Another 2 hours, another $80 profit. Not bad. I have one hand where I flop the nut straight which becomes the nut flush on the turn, and need the Jd on the river for the $5k royal, but alas, it does not come. I got paid off pretty well (by 2-4 standards) from a lesser flush and a set. Of course, the lesser flush had the Jd. Curses. Bedtime.

--Saturday--

A new day! Breakfast at McD's never hurt anyone. We head over the Mirage to look around. That is one very pretty hotel. We make the obligatory Siegfried and Roy jokes, then head to the poker room. The 1-2 NL table is pretty dead, and the other guys aren't big poker players, so we play some 3-6 LH. I manage to get pocket Qs with the Q-J-10-9-Q board and get paid off. Wish I'd been at TI for that one and gotten to spin the wheel. Alas. +$100, mostly from that hand. Lunch, and then back to the pool.

I only hang out there for a while, since, as I said to Chico, "Taking me to these places is like taking Ghandi to a buffet." Besides, I'm still sober, up about $300 from poker, and itching to play no-limit.

Big mistake.

I go back to the TI room, put my name on the list. There's a bit of a wait. I do notice something odd - twice, a name gets added at the top of the list instead of the bottom, pushing me back down. I guess the people were regulars, and I understand that regulars are more imporant for poker room life than vacationing grooms-to-be...but this time, I was the groom-to-be! That should have been a sign. Unfortunately, I'm no omen-reader.

3rd hand in, I have JdTd in MP. I call a raise to $12 from UTG. One player calls behind me. BB calls. 3-way action. Flop is 7d 2d Qd. Jackpot! UTG checks, I bet $20, late position calls, UTG calls. Turn blanks. UTG checks, I bet $45, LP shoves for about $135 more, UTG folds, I snap call. Of course, LP shows me AdKd and I'm drawing dead. Sweet.

I tread water for a bit, and manage to get back close to start, when I'm dealt two red kings on the button. UTG, a very aggressive, irritating man raises to $20, table folds to me, I pop to $60, he puts me all in, I snap call. He shows...Ac5c. wtf? Ok, I like my odds. Until the flop. Ad Jc 4c. Well shoot. For good measure, the turn and river go 5s 5h. Bleah. Off to the Mirage.

The dealers at the NL section this afternoon are quite slow. At one point, we wait 3 minutes between hands because the dealer misdeals twice, then takes forever to shuffle. Huh. I go up early when my pocket kings flop top set, and then comes this hand. I MP limp with 7d8d, a LP player raises to $15, there are 3 other callers, so I call as well. Flop comes 10d 9s 6d. Jackpot. First 3 players check, I bet $25, LP calls, other players fold. Turn is 6s. I probably could have played this better, but as it turned out, it didn't matter - I shoved, he snap called, and showed...Ac 10s? Really? He says "it's ok, I've got 4 outs." Luckily he misses them all and I rake a big pot.

Sadly, I give most of it back just a few hands later. I raise to $12 with Ad Qc, and get 2 callers. Flop comes Ac Qd 10s. Not bad. It's checked to me, I lead for $25, and crazy European Old Guy re-raises to $100. Other guys fold. EOG has played almost every hand and has bluffed a ton. I feel that I'm beating him. I really feel it. I probably should have just laid it down, but I was sure I had him. I didn't have much more behind his raise, so I chucked it all in. He turns over...As 10c. Great! I did have him! Another player is kind enough to say that he folded a 10 pre-flop which makes me even happier. The turn bricks. Needless to say, the case 10 spikes on the river. Argh. Between that and TI, I'm now down about $150.

Enough poker. The evening is spent with a very nice dinner at Tao in the Venetian. A bit pricey, but great food, and the portions match the price. A good dinner with good friends, couldn't ask for much more than that. The later evening finds us at a, um, "gentlemen's establishment" where Dawson winds up getting left behind because he went to the VIP room without telling us. Apparently, he got a lady's phone number, then drunkenly staggered back to the hotel, on foot, at 4am. Well then. At least he made it back. And without syphillis. As far as we know.

--Sunday--

While everyone sleeps off their hangover, I get my hungover butt out of bed and into the shower for one more TI run. There are only 4 1-2 NL players there, but what the hell, let's do it! (Side note - the dealer when we sat down, TJ, was by far the best dealer I saw in Vegas. He was funny, efficient, everything you could want. If any TI staff read this, make sure you hang onto TJ!) It takes all 4 players a while for the cards to wake up, as for the first half hour, a raise and a c-bet tends to take down the pot on the flop. I get Ac 6h in the BB in an unraised pot, so I check it. Flop is 3-4-5 rainbow with one spade. Not bad. I lead $12, and UTG calls. Others fold. Turn is As. Hmm. I probably should have checked here, but I figured I was ahead. I lead $30, UTG raises to $60. I hadn't sat down with much, so after my $30 bet, I had about $70 behind. I figured I can't just call here, so I pushed it in. Guy snap calls and shows...Js2s. Ugh. Only 6 outs. Somehow, perhaps making up for yesterday, the poker gods see fit to grant me a red deuce on the river for the 6-high straight. The J2 guy proceeds to tell his girlfriend what a bad play I made, etc. I love that.

He keeps talking about the hand for the next orbit, getting on everyone's nerves. Then I really get him. He raises to $12 from the button, SB calls, and I call from BB with 10s 7s. Why not? Flop comes out Js 2s 5s. Wheee! I decide to try and trap him. I check, he c-bets $22, SB folds, I call. Turn is a red K. I check, he goes all in for $130, I snap call. He turns over AhKh and I take his stack. This, of course, prompts another lecture. Later on, I take down a good pot on the flop when I again flop a flush, this time with Qc 10c. My raise to the original raiser's c-bet took it down uncontested.

I'm up $350 in that session, and it's time to go home. Not a bad way to finish. My buddies and I have a last lunch in Vegas and head back to our normal lives. Well, I did get married a few days later.

A great trip. TI was a very pleasant hotel, and the poker room was very nice, even though I did get bumped down the list. The Mirage NL dealers were quite slow and didn't seem to really enjoy their jobs, which made it a less than fun place to play. Very pretty room, however.