Our fantasy football league always holds spring practice in Vegas the first weekend of the NCAAs. We are usually laden with cocktails, match play coupons, and AVP prinouts.

Day 1…..flight arrived at McCarran right on time from Indianapolis. We deplaned and I fully expected to have to use the redcap trick to dodge a long taxi line; but we walk into the waiting lanes and jump into a cab without stopping. The taxi driver gave us advice on how to deal with drivers who take the tunnel (he says to refuse to pay and call the taxi authority). We checked in at the (Las) Vegas Club without a hitch at $19 a night and used up our downtown match plays until my brother arrived from Orlando.

For lunch we took a cab to Ellis Island where I’d won food and beverages for 4 by posting a casino review and use up coupons for match plays and four free cocktails each from the American casino guide. Despite our tips, the bartender was irritated, adding to our amusement.

We checked out the Hooters casino and played craps for awhile, then cabbed back downtown for the first poker action of the weekend. We were going to enter the 9 PM tournament at Fitzgeralds, but the structure was worse than we thought. We were immediately seated in a 1-2 NLHE game. The other players didn’t seem to be locals, but they weren’t giddy tourists either. (Cranky tourists? Locals on valium?) One guy (apparently the model for the Gorton’s fisherman) was playing very tight. I raised pre-flop with 99 and he reraised me in position. I looked up at him and got the stare down. (I thought only twenty-something juice monkeys did that?) I grinned at him and he smiled back. I mucked.

A guy wearing a racing boat manufacturers shirt to my right pushed me off pots twice by going all in. Finally down about $100 I raised in position with AJs and he called. The flop came Jc 8h 4d. Check check. The turn and the river are blanks and he bet out $25. I raise him to $50, he calls and I turn over TPTK holding my breath the whole time. He mucks and leaves the table. I leave a little later down $50 for the session.

Day 2….after making our early game NCAA bets we got our annual Thursday 1/2 price breakfast at Main Street station buffet and then headed to Hard Rock for the 1 PM tournament. If you play an hour in the cash game before the tournament you get an extra 1000 chips, so we sat down about 11:30. At 50 we were definitely the senior players at the table, but there were no obnoxious drunk kids there. About 15 minutes before the tournament starts I pick up K10o in the big blind and check it. I’d played a total of maybe three hands the whole time, so I thought I’d take a chance with it. The flop was Q-10-2 rainbow, so I bet $10 and got a caller to my immediate left. Uh oh.

The turn was a blank, and we both checked. The river was another brick (maybe a 4?) and I bet out $25. I’d read the Hellmuth tells book the week before the trip, but the main effect it had on me was to make me terrified of giving away any tells. I sat with my head in my hands leaning on the rail while he played with his cards, rubbing them toward the middle to make it look like he was folding. I suddenly realized I was holding my breath, so I tried to do that slowly. He finally mucked his hand to put me up $60 for the session.

I busted out of the tourney shortly after the first break, but I really liked the room. Good service, friendly players and dealers, and comfortable chairs.

Later that night after we returned downtown I sat in the 1-2 NL game at the Golden Nugget. The room manager is kind of a -----, but the rest of the staff was friendly enough. Maybe it’s because it was later at night, but there seemed to be more gambling going on. There were two semi-loose players on my right; one a Minnesota Gophers fan and the other a 30-or-so guy with a soul patch.

I got QQ in late position and raised to $10, getting calls from Gopher and soul patch. The flop was ragged with a flush draw. They both checked and I bet the pot. Both folded, but Gopher flashed JJ as he mucked. A few hands later I picked up AKs. Gopher and soul patch limped, I raised and they called. The flop doesn’t have an ace or king, but they both checked, I bet and they folded. It’s gotta be more complicated than this, right?

I started getting tired and after soul patch busted out, I left the game up $140. My buddy was playing in the 2-4 game and he left up about $300 after 2 hours. He said it was very soft, but he was getting tired, too and didn’t want to give his profits back.

Day 3…..we made some early NCA bets (which were bleeding away most of my poker and craps winnings) and then sat again at the Nugget. Some of the same guys were there (including patch). I was a little behind and we were headed out to watch some basketball, so I told my buddy I thought it was time to go. He said “Let’s play one more orbit”, so I agreed.

The next hand I picked up 44 UTG and raised, with the only call coming two seats to my left. Hey! It’s my buddy Patch! The flop came 4-4-x with a flush draw. Yahtzee! I checked, patch checked. The turn is a blank, check check. The river makes the flush, so I ask myself what would induce a raise. $10 seems about right, but patch just calls. I turn over my quads and ask the dealer “Do I get anything for this?”. He said “Oh yeah! High hand on table 4!” I got $200 for the jackpot and bought lunch for my buddies.

(Question for AVPers; I tipped the dealer $25; was that excessive?)

We went to the Sahara for the evening but decided to play the 2-4 cash game instead of the tournament. An older room, with a combination of female tourists complaining about other players and an old local that advised me not to raise in this game. Screw that; I got QQ under. A guy at the end of the table called my raise and the flop came with two aces. What now? Check check. Whew. Probably no ace, right? The turn is a blank, I check and he bets. I call. The river is a blank and he bets again. I call and he turns over tens. I know I played this hand bad, but I think I hate LHE. I cashed out even to go play craps and watch basketball. My buddies stayed there until they busted.

Day 4….we went to the Gold Coast to play in the 10 AM $22 tournament, but they don’t have it anymore. After checking out the Rio and Palms we shuttled to the Orleans. After a two-hour wait I finally got seated at a 1-2 NL game. After I’d been at the table a couple of hands I realized the cage had shorted me $20. (I know, I know, always count before you leave.) I started to go complain, but didn’t think that’d get me anywhere.

As soon as I sit down the guy to my left with a loud voice starts telling me in detail about every hand he’s played that day. Everybody at the table is shaking their heads, including Popeye the sailor man in seat 1. After just a few minutes he leans over to whisper something to me and I kinda jumped and said WTF or something like that. He said “Oh, sorry to invade your personal space.”

About ten hands in I get KK in middle position and raise to $10 with one caller who hadn’t played many of the hands yet. Naturally an ace gets flopped. I bet $25 and the villain raises. I said “I believe you” and mucked my kings face up. (I know that’s kinda Hollywood. It’s so not me.) After not showing his cards, the winner said he had a set. If he did, I guess that ace saved me a lot of money.

Later I raised to $10 with A10o in the cutoff, and loudmouth makes it $50 to go. I think about it. Am I getting pushed around here? I decide to fold and he shows me aces, then goes into a long explanation of his decision. I listen politely in appreciation of his show.

Then I get 5c7c in the big blind. There are three limpers and the flop comes 4c8cJh. I bet $7, and a somewhat LAG across the table raises to $15. I think about a call here, but eventually decide to fold. In hindsight I think this was a mistake. (AVPers; your thoughts?). I put him on a middle pair or high cards.

Meanwhile, loudmouth gets into a big argument with Popeye and I decide to cut my losses. I cashed out down $110 (including the stolen $20).

We headed out for the airport about 8:30 PM, and after accounting for my terrible sports betting I ended the trip up $80 on gambling.

Next time we might play exclusively at Hard Rock and Golden Nugget. Thanks to all AVPers for past and future advice! (And sorry for the long-winded trip report!)