Prior to last weeks visit to Las Vegas it had been a little over a year since I’ve been to Sin City. Last year I was fortunate enough to make 3 trips. However, since that time I’ve gotten a little older, a little wiser, and… a girlfriend.

My wonderful girlfriend purchased our trip to Vegas as a birthday gift to me. Possibly the greatest gift I’ve ever received. For me, this was the first trip to LV with a "significant other". She went out of her way to let me go and play poker and do the things that I normally would do in Vegas. She knows that I’m not a drinker so she didn’t have to worry about me doing anything stupid while off by myself. However, we did spend a lot of time together and she showed me a part of Vegas that I never saw before.

Previously, all I’d known about Vegas was the new strip area (MGM, Luxor, Excalibur, NYNY and Monte Carlo). As far as I was concerned, I could stay at Excalibur every visit and be perfectly content. I enjoyed the poker room there and that’s all that mattered. However, this trip my tastes changed a little bit.

We stayed at the New York New York. Not really having stayed there in the past, I wasn’t really sure what to expect. It sucks. I think it’s the worst hotel/casino of the bunch. The food sucked, the casino floor setup sucked, the slots are “uber” tight, no poker room and the rooms aren’t anything to brag about. Seriously, if I had to choose a hotel in this area, the Excalibur does the trick. The restaurants are better , it’s a lot cheaper, and there’s a poker room with a great 1-3 no limit game.

That being said….. because of this trip, all of my future Vegas plans have changed. I can honestly say that every future trip to Vegas will be spent downtown. Fremont Street. Failing that, the hotels on the northern part of the strip will suffice. The
older stuff.

Here’s how I see it… I just turned 31. I really don’t drink much if any. My party threshold has severely decreased. Why do I need to stay at the new strip? I have a girlfriend so I don’t need to go prowiling. I don’t drink much so I don’t really party hard. I don’t really play table games other than poker. I don’t like to pay a lot for meals. I don’t like to pay a lot for hotels.

Here’s what I do: I play poker. Occasionally, I’ll throw my money away on slots. I like cheap food. I like less expensive rooms. Therefore, there is no reason for me to stay any place other than hotels on Fremont, the Orleans, or the old part of the strip (Stratosphere, Riviera, Sahara, etc). Here’s why: The rooms are cheaper, the food is cheaper, the slots are looser, the tables have lower limits, I’m less likely to run into drunk 23 year-olds, and I think it shows me a tiny little pinch of what old Vegas was like.

To me, Fremont was great. Excellent to be honest with you. I played poker at the Mecca of poker rooms. Binions. I saw the WSOP Champion’s wall. I sat at the final table and came in 4th. I played against locals, people who actually know how to play poker! I ate a 99 cent shrimp cocktail at the Golden Gate (end of Fremont) and it was fantastic! I ate a $5.95 prime rib at the Golden Gate and it was fantastic! I played 25 cent roulette at the El Cortez and at the Golden Nugget and had a lot of fun.

I've comprised a list of Do's and Dont's. Honestly, no matter what you do, if you're in Vegas you will have a good time. Hopefully, this list will help any future Vegas go'ers have an even better experience:

DO's:

* Stop at the Klondike Hotel and Casino which is on the strip right before you get to the “Welcome to Las Vegas sign. This is old school Vegas and it’s a real shit hole. I recommend it because you can play $2 black jack and 10 cent roulette! There will be no one else there and you can play with your friends and have a really cheap good time. This is the part of Vegas I love. You WILL see some interesting characters there, and that includes the dealers, pit boss, and the 1 elusive cocktail waitress. This place is getting torn down real soon, so do yourself a favor, go see it, take pictures and experience the dinginess! Wil Wheaton (actor and avid poker player) wrote a very good blog about the Klondike, click here to read it.
* Go to the El Cortez casino. Also a shit hole but a glimpse into dingy old Las Vegas. Here you can play 25 cent roulette. I believe they had a $3 black jack table as well. The clientel here are older locals and you will see some drunks. Do not play poker here unless you are a 70 year old veteran, you must wear your veteran’s hat and you must have at least a carton of cigs with you. Failing the cigs, bring your oxygen tank. They only play limit here, and if you sit down these old locals will tear you a new asshole. I promise.
* Visit Fremont Street.
* When visiting Fremont, park directly across the street from the Fremont entrance. It costs $5 for 4 and a half hours. From there you are right across the street from both the Fremont street experience and across the parking lot from the El Cortez.
* Eat the 99 cent shrimp cocktail at The Golden Gate on Fremont.
* Eat the $5.95 prime rib plate at the Golden Gate on Fremont.
* Eat the $4.95 baked half chicken plate at the Golden Gate on Fremont.
* I recommend having at least 1 nice/fancy dinner while staying in Vegas. The best value for a fancy dinner is the Prime Rib loft at the Orleans. The prices are VERY good for a meal of this quality. I highly recommend the Orleans cut prime rib, get the house salad (best salad I’ve ever eaten) .
* If you play poker, go to Binion’s and enter one of their tournaments. Do not play cash no limit games here because there is a $100 minimum buy in with NO maximum buy in. Therefore, you have people who will buy in with THOUSANDS. So, just stick to the no limit tournies. They have $60 buy-ins at 2pm and 8pm and then another at 2am.
* Also, the no-limit tournaments at the Orleans are great too. You will be playing against locals, and therefore the stupid bad beats will be minimal.
* If you must play cash no limit games go to the Excalibur and play their $1-$3 blind table with a minimum buyin of $100 and max of $200. There’s a few locals/regulars that try and take all the fish’s money. I know because I recognize them from the last 3 trips I’ve taken last year. After sitting at the table for a half hour, you too will recognize the locals. Avoid getting into big pots with them. Target the drunk 25 yr old and you’ll make some money.
* Fly Frontier if you have the choice. The seats are roomier and each seat has a TV with DirectTV. It costs $5 to watch TV and $8 to watch a movie but I cannot remember a more pleasant flight. In general, I hate flying because I’m a giant in a tiny seat. It’s very uncomfortable, but like I said the seats seem bigger and the TV kept me entertained.
* At least once, stay at The Orleans Hotel and Casino. It’s the only place that you can actually get away with not having to leave. They have everything you ever need. Great poker room, loose slots, low limit table games, great food, great entertainment, the best rated pool in Vegas, a movie theater, bowling alley. Other than the Orleans, I can’t think of a hotel/casino in Vegas that I could actually stay at for the entire duration of my trip without having to leave.
* Rent a car. You will thank me. You can get a car for $19 bucks a day on travelocity.com. It will cost you at least $10 one way on a cab to go anywhere so the rental car will save you a bundle.

Do NOT:

* stay at the New York New York
* put any money into the slots at the airport. Sure, everybody knows somebody who knows somebody who won big at the airport. But you know what? I have never actually met someone who themselves won big at the airport. They’re super tight. Don’t waste your money.
* If possible, don’t stay at the new strip unless you are less than 26 years old and REALLY like to drink and party a lot. If this is you, the new strip is perfect.
* eat at the Chinese restaurant in NYNY. I ordered sweet and sour pork and got only 6 pieces of pork and about 5 pounds of vegetables. Wasn’t that great for the price.
* don’t order the pizza by the slice at the NYNY. It’s the same stuff you can get on 6th street here in Austin late at night.
* play any table games anywhere but on downtown, the limits are much lower.
* play any slots anywhere but downtown or at the Orleans, the slots are MUCH looser.