The report is written in various parts while I was in Vegas so it may seem somewhat disjointed. I hope you enjoy it.

Thursday afternoon: Yes, I am leaving on a plane this afternoon for the 3rd time this year to Vegas. I know that sounds sick. But its just worked out timing wise for me. I went the first week of March Madness, which I will make an annual trip from now on. That is an excellent weekend to go for a number of reasons. Then I took a solo trip to Vegas in April for my birthday. This weekend I am staying free at the Las Vegas Hilton using my Hilton Honors points. So, while I play in a couple of tournaments and some cash games, the wife will be hanging out at the pool and relaxing. She is good about entertaining herself and not having to have me around. She promised I could play as much poker as I want. And I promised to take her out to a couple of nice restaraunts.

We are at the Nashville airport knocking back a few beers right now. Guess who is here? Vince Young! He is one gate over going to Houston. I have seen him one other time at a bar downtown. He has a body guard with him. Seeing VY is a good omen for me as I am a huge Titan fan. I will win money this trip if I dont drink too much.

My wife just read me my horoscope. I am not a horoscope guy but I am a very superstitious gambler. Always have been and I know it is irrational, but it is what it is. My horoscope from the very credible National Examiner says in part: "your good luck will make you the envy of your friends. Lucky numbers are 29, 23, 43, 28, 27, 18". My lucky number my whole life has been 18! I feel good about this trip. BTW, As I was sitting here typing this out an old friend of mine who I havent seen in 5 years came right over to me. We just talked for a good 20 minutes about our lives and she gave me her card. Great to see her. This is another great omen. Big Daddy is about to clean up! plane leaving now. more later.

I had a book full of coupons for free drinks on Southwest so we knocked back a few cold ones on the way here. I have yet to get off a plane in Vegas sober and dont want to break my streak. The plane was on time, caught a cab to the hotel, and went to dinner. Decided to go to Social House inside of Treasure Island. It is a good sushi place and I recommend it to those of you who love the raw fish like me. Its not as good as Nobu but it is very good, imo. Put the wife in a cab back to the hotel and I headed straight to the TI Poker room. Let me say that I REALLY like this room. It is small and out of the way. It is typically full of drunk tourists with only a few locals throw in. They dont spread $2/$5 which I prefer, but they do something different from most other low roller rooms: They spread a $1/$3 game but allow you to buyin for $500. Most people buyin for $200, so make sure you buy in for $500 and you already have them dominated. It is like shooting fish in a barrel in that room. Just make sure you can tolerate the suckouts and bad beats as everyone there will be chasing no matter the pot odds or card odds.

The room was really slow for a Thursday night. Every other time I have been there, the room has been packed. Last night they had 1 limit and 1 No-limit game going. I immediately got seated at the no limit table. It was looser than creamed corn. Raise to $20 pre-flop on most hands. Maybe 1 limped flop out of 10. I love this kind of game. But for the first hour or so I probably saw 1 flop. I was card dead in the extreme and just couldnt get anything going. I am down about $50 when I am on the button. UTG makes the standard raise to $20. Folds around to me. I pick up AJ(aka Big Dick). The raiser is a maniac who I have been targeting. He could have any 2 cards so putting him on a hand is out of the question. I am thinking about a big raise, but just smooth call hoping to felt this idiot. SB folds. BB calls. Flop comes Ad Jd 4c. Giving me top 2 pair but a scary flush draw out there. BB checks. Raiser bets out the standard continuation bet of $25. I raise to $60. BB folds. Raiser smooth calls me. The guy is so unpredictable that I cant put him on any hand, but am thinking A rag or flush draw. Turn is a J, filling up my boat. Raiser checks. I bet $60 again. he comes over the top of me all in for an additional $150. I beat his dumb ass into the pot. He had A 8 with no flush draw. This was a very typical hand for the table. But unfortunately, we only played another hour or so and the table broke up to play in the tournament. I was tired, drunk, and horny so I went back to the hotel, up $225 for the session. This is going to be a very very good weekend for me!

Friday:
Hung out with the wife all morning. Then decide to go hit the $150 +$20 buyin NL tourney at the Hilton. Get over there and the tournament is tomorrow. So, I sit in the lamest $1/$2 game I have ever played. Any bet, Any raise, Any action at all is folded around. It sucked and was no fun. You simply cant get people to put any $$ into the pot. I almost got into a scuffle. It is me and a Filipino local kid who are doing alot of talking and trying to have fun. Some old dude at the end of the table with a funny accent gets involved in a pot with me. After the hand, I ask him, "sir, where are you from"? An innocent question just making conversation. He says, "I am from LA". I said, "Oh. By your accent, you sounded like you may be from somewhere else". Dude goes completely off the chain on me. He says, "we are all immigrants of this country. You shut your mouth. Dont tell me I not from LA". Something about him telling me to shut my mouth in a Russian accent sent me spiraling off my nut. I said, "listen you crazy jackass! I was just making conversation. I could care less where your non-english speaking ass is from. Why is everyone from LA a nut?." Dealer's butthole puckered like somebody had poured allum all over it and requested help. I tell the brush that dude has gone off his medication and better not say another f'n word. Mr Russia keeps quiet the rest of the time I am there. I play another 20 minutes and am not into it so I leave. He glares at me with those foreign eyes as I leave the pit.

Go back over to the hotel and hang out with the wife at the pool. Poolside in Vegas is off the charts. Unbelievable scenary abounds. I love it here. I want to live here. Going to meet AVPers over at Planet Hollywood for a tourney tonight. Then over to my favorite poker room, The Rio for some 2/5.

Thursday night:
Went over to Planet Hollywood to meet up with 17 fellow AVpers! They were really a great group and I enjoyed visiting with everyone. Jerry Chesnut and I got there early so he and I played some $1/$2 NL before our tournament was to begin. I bought in for the Max of $300 and ran that up to $425 in 1 hour. Then we all got into their 7:00 pm tournament with $60 buyin. It had 77 runners, top 8 got paid. I made the final table after some of the weirdest poker I have ever seen. The river changed the winner of the pot on at least 8 consecutive hands. I busted out in 10th after I pushed with QJ suited couldnt run down A 6 offsuit in what was an essentially an all in fest with skyrocketing blinds. There were 17 AVpers of us in the tourney from the website, so we all threw $10 in a pot for the one of us who lasted the longest. I chopped that $170 with Jerry, the only other AVP who made the final table with me.

A word about Planet Hollywood. This casino used to be the old Alladin. They have completely re-done the entire casino and it has a young, hip vibe to it. I really like this casino and everyone needs to stop in and see what they have done to the place. The poker players are young below average players. There is some money to be made here but this is strictly a low limit room. They dont spread anything NL except 1/2. Max buyin is $300, so there isnt alot of $$ on the table. But lots of donks. They have that dam race track thing around the table just like MGM. I hate that dam thing! And it is VERY LOUD because the poker room is right beside a karoke type bar.

After the tourney I went over to my personal favorite poker room, The Rio. I am the only person that I know that likes this room, but it is definitely a cant miss for me every trip. Its weird about that but you may love a casino that I wont step foot in and vice versa. For example, I hate the MGM, but most folks love that monster. Its just a function of your own personal taste, your history there, and the vibe. I love the Rio because their lowest limit NL game is $2/$5. That means the worst NL players there have to step in game size. It usually makes for a profitable endeavor for me. Last night I played for about 5 hours and wound up down $42. First time I ever lost there, but I stayed about an hour two long, got tired and donked off about $200 after I should have been back at the hotel.

I thought I had seen everything in Vegas, until last night. I catch a cab back to the hotel from the Rio about 2:00 am. We get on I-15 at Flamingo going North. The cabby is merging onto the freeway when all the sudden some drunk, staggering dude walking down the side of the interstate stumbles out into our lane. We came within inches off running over this dude at about 60 mph. The cabbie swerved over 2 lanes and the cab skidded, but he quickly corrected and kept going. As I began to clean up the piss running down my leg, the visibly shaken cabbie handed me his phone and asked me to call 911 and report the drunk guy in the middle of the road. The cabbie just kept saying, "did you see that? "did you see that"? He was shaking like a leaf. I called 911 and they said they would dispatach a cop but wanted a description down to the last detail of the guy. "I said, "what does it matter what he looks like? How many guys do you have walking down the middle of I-15 right now"? I gave the description to the best of my knowledge but I fear for what happened to this drunk maniac. The dude should be dead but for the quick reactions of the cabbie. I am glad there werent any cars in the lane beside us or we would be dead too. That was just surreal. Came back to the room and couldnt sleep for thinking about that guy.

Saturdyay morning:

Walked around the strip with the wife all morning. Ate breakfast at a little cafe in the Venetian. The V is in my opinion the nicest casino in this town of incredible casino's. I love everything about the Venetian. It is magnificient. Their poker room is HUGE and elegant! I still havent ever played there though. Brought the wife back to the hotel. Bet $200 on the ponies but only cashed out $187 for a $13 loss. But I got $10 in comps from the sports book so it was a wash.

Went downtown for the 1st time in 20 years. It is not as bad as I thought it would be. Went to Binions and lost $600 playing craps. Got into their 2:00 NL holdem tourney with a $10k guarantee. Jennifer, aka Binionsinfo, runs their tournaments and she does an excellent job! She has a great thing going down there and I encourage all AVPers to head over there for their tournies. Plus Jennifer is REALLY REALLY HOT! In the Saturday tourney we had 178 runners in this dam thing! I busted out in 63rd place when I pushed with Big slick suited and got called by an underpair that held up. Left and went back to the Hilton sportsbook.

I just bet $200 on Rampage Jackson to beat Chuck Lidell. I was getting an incredible +170. Am I just crazy or is there way too much value on Jackson at this price? +170 is just sick for a guy who destroyed Chuck a couple years ago. I like Jackson and I like him big.

Saturday night:
The Rio is still my favorite poker room, followed by Treasure Island. I also went over to the Palms for the first time ever. The Palms is definitely the young, hip, rich, Paris Hilton type crowd there. As a 44 year old man, this was not my vibe at all. Went to their poker room, actually they have 2 seperate poker rooms side by side. I went to the one that offers NL cash games. They had a list of about 40 people and only 1 game going, and dozens of people standing around begging to get into a game. I asked why they didnt have another game or 3 going. The guy was unfriendly and uncooperative so I left. I asked if PSand was around but he wasnt. I have no idea how the room plays but I aint going back, ever.

Went right over to the Rio and played until 3:00 am with about $650 in profit I love that dam room and am hoping some AVPers try it sometime and give me their feed back. One caveat BTW, I dont know anyone else that likes to play there except for me. I just know that I always win there and there are alot of bad players. Sure there are some local sharps, but you can avoid them and target the fish and it is profitable.

Sunday:
I played some more at the Las Vegas Hilton, where we were staying. Dont play here as any raise at all gets everyone to fold, so winning any money or getting any money in the pot is out of the question. I hate that kind of poker and lose interest very quickly. Lots of local nits just getting hours in so they can qualify for the monthly free roll tourney. The first day I played there, I sat by an old nit who had to be at least 75, used a cane, and was deaf as a post. But he and I talked baseball and gambling the whole time and he was a pleasant enough fellow. Well, when I played there Sunday morning, he came and sat down beside me again so I could update him on the Braves/Phillies game that was on the tv right in front of us. He couldnt see the score, and he had bet under 8 1/2. Anyway we had been there about an hour when he was in a hand with the dude on the other side of him. A younger local guy who I had also talked to alot. I forgot what the cards were, but on the turn, old dude bets $40. Young dude comes over top for $80. Old dude thinks for a second and then clearly says, "Im all in". No doubt about it and everyone heard it. Young dude says, "I might be beat but I call" and pushes a couple red stacks out there. Dealer deals the river. Young dude shows a J high flush. Old dude stares at the board and his cards for a good 30 seconds and then mucks. Dealer starts counting the chips and old dude says, "I didnt call his all in" The dealer says, "you went all in". Old dude says, "no he went all in but I never called it" Old dude, who I guess sees me as an ally, looks directly at me and says, "I didnt call his all in.." I said "look sir, I dont have a dog in this fight and dont care who wins the pot. But you bet $40, he raised to $80, you went all in, and he called. Thats exactly what happened as I watched the whole thing". He continues to insist that he didnt call the other guys all in. The brush comes over and I explain what I know to have happened, its confirmed by the dealer and another player not involved in the hand. Finally, a couple other of the local nits affirm my recollection of the events too. Old dude says ok, but I know I never said all in, gets up and never returns. I dont know if he was trying to beat the kid out of the money or he was just old and addled. I also know that I wasnt in the pot so it wasnt my business, but old dude was looking at me to confirm his story and I certainly wasnt going to lie for the old dude to cheat that kid out of his rightful money. I am unsure of the protocol for that crap, but if I am the guy in the young dudes spot, I would sure want people to confirm what happened for the floor.

I do need to confess something to the entire AVP membership before I can move forward. Something horrible almost happened to me this weekend. It is so bad, so disgusting, so thoroughly unspeakable, that I almost had to turn in my "man card" this weekend and quit AVP forever. Almost. You see, we were staying at the Las Vegas Hilton. Not a bad place at all, really, other than the poker room blows. The sportsbook there is great though. Anyway, we check in and who is the main attraction playing at the Hilton for the next several months? Its none other than Mr Coppa Cabana himself, Barry Manilow. First off, I am a heterosexual male, so yes, I hate Barry Manilow and everything he represents. You have to believe me here guys. But my wife loves Barry Manilow. Somewhere within the secret confines our marital relationship, my wife got me to agree to go see Barry's show. Yep, the whole "Mandy, well you came and you gave and Ill take it" crap. I have no idea why I capitulated to these outrageous and cruel and unusal demands. I even went down to the box office with the full intention of buying 2 front room tickets. But my manhood was saved when Barry wasnt performing this weekend, and wont return until May 31st. So, my testicles are still intact, sitting in a mason jar of femaldahyde on the mantle at home. But I did feel the need to let everyone know that I was actually going to go see his show.

I do have some good news with regard to my sexual orientation that I forgot to report. We were getting ready to board the plane in Vegas. My wife says, "look at the little bald guy over there. Do you know who that is?" I said, "Ive never seen him before" So, she says, "that is Scott Hamilton you big dummy. He is flying on our plane to Nashville". So, I think for a second and say, "Ok, I dont think I know a Scott Hamilton". She says, "he is a male figure skater". So, I said, "Whew! At least the whole Barry Manilow thing didnt make me totally ghey, because I have no idea who he is".

Well, it turned out to be a profitable trip for me. Paid for all my expenses, pissed lots of $$ away playing craps and still had ~$500 in profit. Still love The Rio and TI for cash games. For tournaments I recommend making the trip downtown to Binions. Planet Hollywood was nice for a low nl room. Las Vegas Hilton is a nit room and not recommended. The Palms gets a thumbs down although I didnt get to play there.