Last week was my 44th birthday! My wife asked me what I wanted for my birthday, and I said what I would really really really like is to go to Vegas by myself and play poker for 3 straight days. She said ok, I booked the flight, and I was off to play cards alone!

Did some last minute work and headed to the airport. Check my bags at the curb and guess who is standing beside me? Go ahead and guess. Yep, you guessed it, Tanya Tucker! I live in Nashville, but rarely see any real "stars" with the exception of Kenny Chesney who eats at the greasy spoon I do every Sunday morning for breakfast and Lee Greenwood who lives in my nieghborhood. But I recognized Tanya right off and she looks aweful by the way. Old and more makeup than a 10 day old bad embalming job.

Plane was late so I went to the airport bar. Sat down by a young kid and watched poker on tv. The kid just got back from Iraq and was heading back in May. He was suppposed to get out, but got caught up in the surge. He was heading back to Ft Stewart outside Savannah. Good kid. From Phoenix. I picked up his check and told him we all appreciate what he is doing. He had never been to Vegas and asked me about 1000 questions! He said that is the first thing he will do when he backs back! Godspeed to him!

The plane was about 40 minutes late so Southwest Airlines gave us free drinks the entire 4 hour flight to Vegas! I love Southwest baby! I am the last one on the plane and head to the very back of the bird. There are about 8 or 9 guys from a previous stop heading out to Vegas for a bachelor party. I slide right into their group like I belong. They brought their own booze on the plane and were already completely blotto by the time they get to Nashville. Loud, drunk, and obnoxious. Just the type party I like. Then a couple chicks from Vandy came back and hung out and talked trash the whole way! Good omens for the weekend to come. When we exit the plane, security was there to meet the drunk guys about them bringing liquor on the plane. I didnt hang around to see what happened...

Plane lands and I go get on the shuttle bus to take me to the rental car building. Ive never rented a car in Vegas but wanted to try it. Pretty simple procedure. I am staying at the Embassy Suites. I know, I know, but it was free with my Hilton Honors points. Its across the parking lot from the Hard Rock. Thought about going over there but I am drunk and tired and its almost 3:00 am Nashville time. Time to sleep before my 3 day poker fest begins.

Wake up Friday morning, a day that will forever be known as "the day Huddler lost a $12M deal and then proceeded to piss away $1000 playing poker against a table full of drunk donks." I had a conference call this morning did NOT go well. A customer let us know that he was going with a competitor. Mind you our competitors solutions sucks and isnt at all what the customer needs. But his boss, who happens to be the owner of the company, is friends of somebody at the other company. And Viola, Huddler gets good ole boyed right in the f'n keester.

So, I try to clear my mind and head over to Caesars to play some $2/$5 NL and then get in the tourney. I get over there about 9:30 and they only have one table going and it is 1/2 NL. I get on a list that already has 5 names. I ask them to open another table and let us play short. The lady was a total biznitch and said no. I hung around for an hour or so and left. I went over to the Sahara to play in their low roller 11:00 am tourney. Waiting for the tourney to start I won $55 playing a slot machine, which I never do. Cashed out and made it through 2 hours of the tourney when my Cowboys ran into bullets. All the money went in and I went out. Left there and went to TI

As advertised, TI is a great room to play NL holdem in. They spread a 1/3 NL game and let you buy in for $500. I immediately asked about AVP Michael, but he wasnt there. Lots of drunk tourists. Lots of people buyin short which lets you dominate them. Anyway I sit down and am watching some of the God awefulist poker I have ever seen. Lots of drunks. An old drunken neck from Syracuse is beside me and he cant hardly speak he is so drunk. I target him and another guy. Oh, about 20 minutes after sitting down, I get two red Aces in MP. I raise to $30 and get 3 callers, which was standard for this loose game. Flop Jc 6d 4d. It folds around to me. With ~$100 in the pot, I decide that I am going to make it incorrect for a flusher to draw out on me. So, I push 2 red stacks out there. It folds around to the drunk. He goes into the tank and says I need some time. I tell him to take all the time he needs. After a few minutes of him muttering to himself he says, "F@ck it, I am all in!" He has about $450 total. So, with an over pair to the board and this idiot as my opponent I think about a nano second and then call. This moran had come over top of me all in with top pair, weak kicker. He had a J 10 offsuit. He didnt even have a flush draw. So, obviously I am a HUGH favorite to win. As I am preparing to bring my chips in, another J falls on the river!

I immediately bought back in for $500, but when the drunk sucked out on me a kid at the other end of the table says, "my god that was a horrible call and an even worse suck out". Drunk dude then jumps up and says to the guy, "f@ck you asshol! The kid says, "what did you say mf?" Obviously, I dont want drunk dude to leave the table as I plan to get all my chips back from him. They start yelling at each other at the top of their lungs. This aint good. The other dudes friends come over and then the floor comes over and calms things down a bit. Dealer handled it well and got cooler heads to prevail. I would have liked to seen the fight though. Old drunk dude was a real neck and has been in his share of brawls. The other guy was big but soft.

So, everything calms down and we get back to playing cards. I build my $500 up to a respectable $700 when I flop a nut straight. I have Q9, and the flop was 8 10 J rainbow. I make a post size bet of ~$50. A dude with a mountain of chips goes all in. I call. he had 10 8. Catches the boat on the river. Sometimes the Poker Gods aint on your side. Today hasnt been good to me at the table. Went and played video poker and lost another $200. Decided to come back to the room and relax for a bit, and then go out to dinner.

Got back to the hotel and started drinking some more. Embassey Suites has a free happy hour so downed a few Samuel Adams and then headed over to the Hard Rock for dinner. Ive always wanted to try Nobu so I thought tonight would be a good night. I ordered some raw Salmon and the House Special Roll. Very tasty indeed. Then I decided to order the shrimp in spicy sauce from the "hot kitchen". Also, very good with a unique flavor. And their presentation was incredible. Super high quality sushi if you are into that sort of thing. Plus, the chicks eating in that place are amazing. I guess it is "trendy". Lots of Metro's in there too. Most people were dressed up while I had on shorts, a long sleeve T-shirt from Voodoo lounge, and my flip flops. I didnt bring any long pants, dress shoes, or shirts for that matter. This is a down and dirty poker weekend. No need to look like I am going to the Opera. No pretensiousness for me. I also had a few Kiernin Lights. Total bill $75.

After dinner, I decided to go play at my personal favorite poker room in Vegas, The Rio. I know alot of people dont like this room but I have always won here, be it craps, blackjack, or poker. I get seated immediately at a $2/$5 NL game, which is my game of choice. They had 3 tables of 2/5 going and this one had just started. 5 of the 9 players were Mexicans in from Los Angeles just having fun. They spent the 3 hours or so I was there, drinking, cracking on each other, and donking off their chips. They were a fun group and looser than creamed corn. I finished the session up about $300. Then a buddy who lives in Vegas calls and wants me to come meet him for a beer. I reluctantly say "adios" to my Mexican ATM's and head over to MGM for some drinks.

MGM smells like a French Ho House, not that I have any personal info on French Ho houses. It smells like Channel #5 attempting to cover up bad body odor and dead fish. But we drank and played donk poker half the night. Loose, drunk, young kids play here. It was fun, but I have no idea how I did or how I got home! Fun times though!

The next morning I return to the scene of the crime from the night before, the MGM Grand. Going over there in the light of day, and sober, I now recall why I hate that stinking casino. Namely, because it stinks. I started sneezing and threw up in my mouth a little as I entered that nasty place! Well, I make my way over to the poker room and everybody there knows me. I dont recognize anybody there. Its like a bad episode of the Twilight Zone! I dont remember what I did last night but I apparently left quite an impression. I tried to play it off like I remember all the stuff that happened. But alas, from about 11:00 to 2:00 that night, things are still a bit foggy.

Sat down at the 1/2 NL table and lost about $90 in 2 hours. Couldnt get anything going at all and didnt have my A game as I was a bit hungover still. I hate the whole racetrack thing around the card table. Its stupid and I cant get used to it. Between the smell, the racetrack, the noise, and people retelling the events of what I "alledgedly" did last night, that room just got to be a little much for me so I left.

I started off playing at Planet Hollywood, formally known as The Alladin. Strictly a low roller room with $200 max buyin at the 1/2 NL table. It was a fun room and we talked trash and cracked on everyone without ceasing. I gave everyone at the table a nickname. There was Phil Ivey, Smooth, Hard Tits, Babooo, Bill Clinton, Big Daddy, et al. I actually received a standing ovation by the table when I left. I dont know if they were appreciative of me keeping the game fun for everyone, or they were just happy to see me go. I want to believe the former. I do know that everyone there was laughing their asses off the whole time. It was really a fun table but i wound up losing $150 for the session.

Walked over to the Paris but their poker room is so lame, even I wouldnt play there. Caught a cab over to the Rio, my personal favorite poker room. I was immediately seated at 2/5 table. One of my Mexican ATM's had returned to the scene of the crime from the night before. Unfortunately, he donked off all of his chips to some other gringo before I had a chance to get them this time! This table was wild and loose and I saw many players busted out over the course of the evening! I have NEVER lost at this room. Never. I have no idea why I dont always play there other than the fact that I like to move around. I was drinking again and still left up $450! That tells you something about the players there. I almost got into an arguement when a local nit got really pissed at me over the following hand:

I am BB and get AQ off. Everyone folds to the button who raises to $15. SB folds. I call leaving us heads up. Flop comes Q 4 8 rainbow, giving me TPTK. I bet $30. Button calls instantly. Turn is a blank. I bet $75. Button calls instantly. River is a Q giving me trips. I should have bet it. But I checked, hoping he would bet and I could check-raise, but he checked behind me. I flipped over my trips and he flipped over AA. He threw his cards down and said something about suck outs blahblahblah nobody knows what they are doing. I said, "dude, you smooth called on every street, when you were way out in front. If you want to get me off top pair top kicker and protect your hand, you are going to have to bet instead of call". He said, "dont tell me how to play poker". I said, "I am not telling you anything even the softest of fish know". Then another player told him that I was right, that he had completely misplayed his hand allowing me to catch up. I thought this nit was going to blow a gasket! He started screaming and posturing and I told him, and I quote, "you better sit your old no poker playing ass down". Everybody at the table bust out laughing at that. That sent him over the top and he left the table in a huff and never returned.

I played again Sunday morning at Rio making $200 before their noon Tourney started. I think it was $60 with 1 $40 rebuy. I made it through 3 hours before getting knocked out. It was an ok tourney. I never made it downtown as I had hoped. And I still havent made it over to the Palms. I am coming back Memorial Day weekend and will try it then. I had a great time and enjoyed myself! Thanks for all the great advice on AVP.