I had a couple of hours to kill on the afternoon of Sunday, April 10. My wife and I were in town with our kids to renew our vows for our tenth anniversary, but the weekend was nearly over and we had to get on the road by 4:30pm. The only thing on our agenda we hadn’t done yet was souvenir shopping at M&M World and the Coca-Cola store, plus my wife wanted to check out the Hawaiian Village. Since I was going to do all the driving, I convinced my wife to take the kids with her and I’d go do a little gambling on my own.

So I finally got to see the new poker room at the MGM Grand. It was just gorgeous, and after a 20-minute or so wait, I got a seat at a 2/4 table. I might have played 4/8 but with a five-plus hour drive back home to the San Fernando Valley ahead of me, I figured in case the cards ran cold I’d be in a better mood if I lost less. It turned out to be very prophetic since in the hour and a half I played, I did not win a single pot. I should have taken my ass to the blackjack table since it seemed my hole cards were constantly adding up to 10 or 11. I’d have made a fortune doubling down. Plus, since I won’t play crap like K3s or 78o, in all that time I only managed to lose about $30. Best hand I got was AKs, which I had to muck when the flop was 89T, all hearts.

And now the details…

Their brand new tables with marble inlays are beautiful. And they absolutely suck for playing poker. The cards frequently slid right off the table when dealt. There’s felt in the middle with a clear yellow ring, a feature many hold ‘em tables lack these days. The dealers were clear in explaining that bets are legal only once they’re pushed inside the line. Beyond the felt is the marble section. You can’t lay your cards on the marble because it’s hard to pick them up to peek at them. Finally there’s the padded outside section, which seems to be too low. The bottom line is that the marble is pretty, but it’s got to go.

The tables have electronic consoles to alert the desk when a seat is open, erasing the need for the dealers to yell “Seat Open” and hope the floor person hears them. I believe another button could be used to call the cocktail waitress, but it was not necessary since the waitress seemed to come by far more often than in any poker room I’ve ever played.

The room itself is also spectacular. Nice large plasma screens are on the inside walls of what seems like a wide “S”-shaped room, most showing sports. Some of the screens display the names of people on the waiting lists for each table. They were quick to open new tables when the lists reached ten people.

The drink service was exceptionally quick as mentioned above, and I loved the waitress’ British accent. Too bad I was about to embark on that long drive, so I can’t say anything about the quality of the drinks. The service was certainly prompt, as the bartending station is situated between the poker room and the sports book, plus there’s a deli counter just to the left of the sports book.

The dealers were all friendly, though some friendlier than others. They all called the number of players still in the hand at the end of each betting round, another thing I wish more dealers elsewhere would do. In particular, Jen the dealer (and it’s Jen, not Jenny, as she proved by ignoring the floor manager’s repeated calls of “Jenny” until she finally replied “That’s not my name!”) was a lot of fun.

The play was what you’d expect from a bunch of out-of-towners playing 2/4: Lots of people (except me it seemed) seeing the flop and very little raising, either before or after the flop.

But here’s the big problem…

The poker room and the new sports book are both located behind a new bar. I’ve forgotten the name of the bar, though I won’t forget what I saw: Girls (and at least one guy, or so I’m told) dancing on the bar. Several of them, each seemingly more attractive than the last. Were I not in the city with my wife and kids and on a tight schedule to meet up with them after I was done playing, I might have been able to give a more detailed report on this aspect of the trip. The dancing girls are not in view while seated at the poker tables, so you won’t have to worry about mucking a pocket pair because you were distracted by a different pair…

This activity started around 4:00pm. Once the music at the bar started, it got rather loud in the poker room. Until then, you could actually have a nice, quiet conversation only occasionally interrupted by loud cheers at times such as when Tiger Woods made that astounding putt at the Masters. But I can handle that.

What I find problematic about the new bar is its location: It’s right between the Rainforest Café and the Lion Exhibit. Those are both family attractions. I know Las Vegas is not designed to be a family destination. (If you want to get into that argument, take it over to alt.vacations.las-vegas.) I can only assume from their placement that MGM wants to give them a reason to get rid of the Rainforest Café and the Lion Exhibit, since I know I won’t be taking my kids there any longer. Perhaps if I can be sure the dancing doesn’t start until 4:00pm as it did yesterday, then it will still be safe for the kids for lunch, since that’s their favorite restaurant in the city. They also save their own money to buy stuff at the Rainforest Café gift shop.

I forgot to ask about the comp system, though I did notice some players had their MGM Players Card swiped. There were no bonuses or jackpots in place and neither the dealers not the floor man knew if any were forthcoming..

Oh yeah, I managed to take the Excalibur 2/6 game for about $100 in two hours late Friday night. I wanted to check out the MGM then but for some reason security was not letting people even get near the MGM via the street or overhead walkways, so I just went on to the Excalibur. There were several fire engines and ambulances parked on the strip side of the MGM snarling up traffic as well. I checked the newspaper and the Internet the next day but couldn’t find any reports of what was going on.

It was a completely un-noteworthy session at the Excalibur except for the one hand where I made all my profit. I had AKo, raised the pot pre-flop and got about five callers. Flop comes QTJ rainbow, so I’ve got the nut straight. I bet the max six and the other two players who stayed in keep raising the pot, so I cap it. Worst-case scenario at this point is two others have the same AK that I do and it’s a split pot. I doubted it since neither of the other players raised pre-flop. I also doubted either had a set since I figured either of those two guys would also have raised if they had pocket queens, jacks or tens, which meant I was safe from a full boat if the board paired. Turn is the As putting two spades on the board, giving anyone with a K a straight and anyone with two spades a flush draw. Betting gets capped again and again I'm anticipating a split. River is 6s completing the flush draw. I don’t think anyone’s got it, but I’d put enough money in the pot already so I just called. The other two players call as well and both of them turn over 89o, having both flopped the dummy end of the straight. I turn over my Big Slick and rake in the chips. Another player not in the hand was astounded the other two would stay in and keep raising the turn when just a single K beats them and gave them quite the unwelcome lecture. I kept quiet and stacked my chips.

So the next time I’m in the city I’ll certainly check out the MGM again, though preferably before 4:00pm. Next trip though I’ll need much more gambling time…

elf