Very entertaining. I even had to use urbandicitonary.com once.

dropped 900 at Venetian and then another 400 yesterday at Bellagio

I limp KK for 5.00 and then this dude pumps it to 20.00 and the button calls, so I reraise to 100.00 straight and the original raiser calls, SB folds, heads up.

FLOP: Jh 10h 7c

I bet 160.00 and he calls pretty quickly.

Turn: 8h which is like a horrible card. I check and he shoves for like 1100.00
I count how much I have and it's like 825.00 left in front of me (Venetian is 1K cap buy in, not 500 like most in Vegas), so I tank and fold face up and he shows me QQ.

Another hand I raise red 1010 to 25.00 after a limper and he calls and we go heads up.

FLOP: Jc 2s 6c

He leads for 25.00, I make it 100.00 and he calls pretty quickly.

Turn: 7c check, check,

River 8c He bets 100.00 and I put him in for 340.00 more and he instacalls with KcJs. people suck.

Bellagio yesterday there's a limper and then a raise to 20.00, so I make it 70.00 from the SB and the BB fish cold calls 70.00. Flop 10d 7d 3h and I put him in for his last 160.00 on the flop and he instacalls with Ad10d and a super 4d hits on the turn.

Flight leaves tonight to go home.

I have been viewing trip reports for several months now, and I have probably read more than 100 of them. I never bothered to register on AVP but I just did so I could respond to your post/report. You are friggin hilarious. Your expressions are excellent, and use (or maybe abuse) of terms describing alternative sexual orientation made me laugh a lot. I can only imagine what an arsehole the J9 slow-roller was. Sounds like you did real well in spite of that loss. Anyways, GREAT report!!

Interesting and colorful report. Definately a unique style of writing that is both entertaining and unique.

Thanks for posting.

Liked the poker part of the report. You obviously have a good sense of humor, so there really is no reason to resort to name calling just to score some cheap laughs.

My suggestion to all posters, FWIW, is if a word or phrase would get you kicked out of a card room or earn you a suspension from a tourney, maybe it doesn't belong in a poker blog. Just a thought.

After rereading the report, I made some minor edits (which PM knew might be forthcoming) to make it a little more appropriate for our forum.

Didn't mean to distract from what was an entertaining write-up of what seems to have been a pretty fun and profitable poker trip ... with some interesting poker hands to boot. Hope my next Vegas trip is this memorable!

Last Day & Closing.

After dropping 900 at Venetian and another 400 at Bellagio, I went to sleep at like 2:30 am. I saw Phil Hellmuth playing Sheikan in Bobby's room. I think sheeky gave me 20K and left pretty fast. I know Hellmuth signed for a 100K marker for all you people that wanted to know how much philly was sitting on. There were two other people there, but I didn't know who they were.

I woke up around 9:00 am or so, ordered some room service pancakes for 23.00 and started packing. I packed up all my stuff and checked my bag at the luggage with the bell station. I had to be out of my room at 1:00 p.m., but my flight didn't leave until 10:30 p.m., so I decided to grind the 1/2NL 200 max game at PH again. They only had 2 tables running, i think I had a 50% VPIP. I flopped some sets, but didn't play a pot over 150.00. I bluffed a lot and when it was time to cash out at 8:30 p.m. I had 813.00. I cabbed it to the airport which was $9.70. Yes, the airport is that close to the strip. It's only a 10 minute ride. I threw the cabbie a 20 spot and started walking off and he said, "want change?" I didn't even turn around. He seemed like a nice guy and needed the money more than me. I had the most expensive beer I've ever paid for at Pickly Pears in the airport. An 11.00 stella draft. I think it was 40 ozs. It was heavy, so I drank it pretty fast and drank another 20 ozer before assing out on the plane before liftoff. I woke up with the captain saying 10 minutes until we touch ground in Orlando. It was 5:50 am and I had to be in my office at 9:00 am. I got home, kissed my wife to be (17 more days) and hit the bed face first and woke up at around 11 am. I'm here now feeling like a zombie.

Closing:

I left with 4400.00 and wanted to take a shot at 5/10NL but I didn't do it because I'm a pooosy. Oh well. I staked a friend in the 1/2NL game and he ran super bad. 99 on a 9 5 5 board vs. A5, river 5, and AA < KK all in preflop when KK makes a flush, and AQ all in on a Q x x flop vs. AK, river K. was pretty sick to watch, so I lost 550.00 staking him, but I still have 5900.00 with me good for +1500.00 on the trip. My hotel ended up being 59.00/night for Sunday - Thursday and Friday/Sat was 119.00. With room service breakfasts, cheeseburgers, internet for 3-4 days (busted all the majors without cashing. boooo), I think my check out bill was 728.00 + the 364.00 plane ticket, so vegas paid for itself.

The internet games may be washing up, but there will always be Vegas. I think 6-7 days is TOO long in Vegas. I honestly feel for you Vegas "pros" who sit at the tables and grind for a living. After the 4th day, I wanted to put a shotgun to my head. The bad beat stories never change, the whiners will always be whiners. The play still sucks bad. I mean, really bad. Worse than I remember (was there last year for the series) People did talk more about internet poker last year than this year.

I never got to play at the Wynn, however I offer my review on some of the rooms:

Planet Hollywood - it's honestly a really nice room that for some reason hasn't kicked it off the ground yet. The piano man does get annoying for some people, but if you're drinking, you tend to sing along with him and it's really not unbearable for those who are there for a fun time. The kid that plays and sings is actually very talented. They have maybe 15 tables or so and only once did I see it empty. They do need to get the TVs up though. The floor managers are nice and the dealers are 8-9 on a scale to 10. The cocktail waitresses are attractive (except for maybe 2 that were old and busted). The play was weak and loose. Lots of check/calling. Easy game to beat if you know anything about NL. I played 17 hours one day and I asked for a comp and he gave me 15.00 ticket to Planet Dailies where I ate almost every day. The food is average - good, but 2.75 for a fountain soda is a huge rip off as is 5.50 for an Amstel Light.

Bellagio - Smallest game they offer is 2/5NL and before I left, I read tons of reviews on how these games are hard to beat, etc... well they are all a lie. If you play TAG poker and wait for hands, you will do just fine. I also read that floor management is cocky and not very helpful, etc.. and well, that part is true. I sat at the host stand for maybe 10 minutes before someone asked what I wanted. ummm.... it's a poker room, maybe I wanna play poker? They are a bunch of jerks and aren't helpful at all. I won't name names though. They had a 40/80 mixed game that I watched while I waited for a seat and wow that action and game is sick. 2/7 low ball triple draw or whatever is crazy. I want to learn that game. Average stacks are probably 3-5K there. Fun to watch and it was right in the middle of room. The waitresses are above average, but they all have bitchy attitudes. I asked for a Sobe (PH has them) and the lady basically embarrassed me in front of the whole table saying zoobie? zobe? zzambie? no, we don't have that, so I just ordered a bottle of water and when I finished it 30 minutes later, she came by and asked if I wanted another zoombie. I racked up and left. fu.cking cu.nt.

Caesars - Tigher than the WSOP. 2/5 uncapped. Most people buy in for 500.00. Biggest stack I saw was around 1.2K. It would fold around to the blinds probably 2-3 times an orbit. The room makes me feel chlostrophobic for some reason. I won't play there again and the waitresses are sub par. There's a club right outside the poker room which was jamming. I drink a lot of water when I'm playing (or beer) so I had a piss a lot and the bathrooms were disgusting. piss everywhere, tp everywhere. all of the drunk abercrombie wanna bes - just throws you off your game a bit.

Venetian - beautiful room, lots of space between the tables, nice staff, nice waitresses - definitely love this room. I saw Gavin Smith playing the 540.00 which I wanted to try out, but pussied out. The dealers are good. I think I only saw one mistake. Floor was nice and saw him handle a few situations correctly and honestly even though a guy was in his face yelling and screaming.

So that's about it. If I think of anything else, maybe I'll make a new post.

great report.

Now the next time I go into the tank and think I wonder if people will assume I am thinking about gay men.

lol

Great post Mover. Look forward to seeing you on my next trip.