I finally pull myself out of bed on Thursday at about 11:40, aching all over. It feels like 4 hours of sleep and too much scotch from the previous night has already caught up with me. I hit the bathroom, drink as much water as possible, hop in the shower, and check out from the luxurious Tropicana via my TV screen 2 minutes before 12:00. Now I have to get to Bally's and check my luggage until my brother and friends arrive…6 hours from now. I bring my bags to the Tropicana Diner and fill up on the Midwest Griddle + Water + OJ + Coffee before taking off for Bally's. I'm struggling to walk straight and unapologetically knock my bags into a few people on my way to the monorail station at the MGM.

I get off at Bally's and start walking to the bell desk to check my bags. On the way there I scanned the hotel, looking for a nice corner with a comfortable chair where I could pass out and catch up on some sleep without being disturbed. Nothing presented itself. After checking my bags, scratching my head, and looking around for a few minutes -- hoping for some sort of wonderous vision to appear before me -- I shrug my shoulders and decide to go to the one place where sleep and time seem to have no consequence…the poker tables.

"What games do you have available?"
"$1/$2 No limit and $3/$6 limit"
"$3/$6 it is!" I say with a smirk.

Being an experienced drinker, I knew that the only way to start feeling better was to begin drinking as soon as possible. The best way to drink in Las Vegas is to play limit poker and get your booze for free by winning an occasional pot. Upon being seated I was quickly approached by a well-worn waitress in a disturbingly revealing outfit. With a full day ahead of me, I knew that I had to avoid the scotch for now. I instead inquired about their beer selection.

"Budweiser, Bud Light, Coors, Amstel, Amstel Light, Heneiken, Guinness.."
"I'll take a Guin-"
"..Fat Tire.."
"Fat Tire! You have Fat Tire!? Yes! Fat Tire, please."

Anyone who drinks Fat Tire beer knows the unique, burnt, mushroomy taste of that heavenly liquid. They also know that it's organic, it's brewed in Colorado, and it's a favorite among the dirty hippie crowd. They also know that it sells for the rediculous price of $8.99/six pack and never goes on sale. Ever.

The table I played at was your typical limit crowd. Mostly older people who were either new to the game, risk averse, or just plain stupid. The only time you lose money at these games is if you start getting frustrated by all of the rediculous hands that you see at show down and start playing rediculous cards yourself. At these stakes, my best advice is this: Play any time you have two face cards, play any pair, and play any suited connectors…and, what the hell, throw suited one gappers in their too. After that, just sit back, drink, bet into your draws, top pairs, and sets on every street and laugh as you watch people get angry that their pocket aces haven't held up all day.

7 Fat Tires and 6 hours later, my friends finally called. By now I am wide awake and feeling great. My stack was somewhere around even and I decided to see one more orbit to get a full beer and try to earn a few more dollars. Pocket Queens and a flush helped launch me + $150 by the time I left.

I realize that recounting hands at these tables is just plain silly, but to give you an example of how things work, here's how my last hand with QQ played out. I am under the gun and raise. There are 5 callers, flop comes:

353 unsuited
I lead out and bet, three callers.
335-2
I bet, three callers
3352-2
I bet, all three call again. I turn over QQ and all players muck.

Now, analyzing this is totally useless. Half the time these people have a full house and "slow play" by never betting it…even on the river. The other half of the time I have no idea what they are doing..probably ace high hoping for a gut shot, hoping their ace high is good, maybe…who knows. I'm sure there's a percentage of the time that they have a full house and don't realize that it beats my two pair. All you need to know is that these are terrible players. The worst thing that you can do is take the game seriously…and there is always someone at the table taking it seriously and getting emotionally involved.

From here I leave the game, cash out, get my luggage, and meet up with my friends in the hotel room. After everybody arrived we go over to O'Sheas for some cheap beer ($2.50 for a Guinness!) and conversation. Eventually a couple people sit in at the $5 single deck blackjack table. The older female dealer seems pleasant enough and she keeps busting, so I decide to join.

"How old are you honey?"
"Eighteen!" I say with proud confidence, smiling at her. My friends laugh.
"Sorry, you have the face of a baby. ID check!"

We play for a half hour or so, all three of us logging small profits. I ask advice and obey on every hand, repeatedly stating, "I have no idea what's going on here. Dealer, what do I do with these?" Eventually, the pit boss calls for a dealer change. A tall, white, corn-fed dealer approaches us smiling. He wipes his hands.

"How's everybody doing here?"
"No offense, sir, but you have the face of a cooler," I remark.
"You know, I hear that a lot."
"I will not let you take my money," I say, scowling at him.

He wins the first hand, so I get up and leave, cashing out up $25. My two friends stay and the cooler takes all of their money in short order.

The six of us head back to Bally's to play $3/$6 limit. I play late into the night eventaully switching from Fat Tire to Chivas Regal. Whether I left ahead or behind here, I can't state with any certainty…I did have extra unaccounted for money at the end of the trip, so we'll say +$30-$50. Things were a little hazy at that point. By the time I ended that session, I'd estimate that I drank more than 30 drinks over the course of the day.

I meet up with my brother at 5:00 AM and we go out looking for food. All that we find open is the Tea House at the Imperial Palace. We both order the Philly Cheese Steak which is, shockingly, absolutely delectable. We head back to Bally's, run into a tiny Mexican selling weed, and fall asleep as the sun begins to rise on Friday morning.

I'm not sure how many more installments it's going to take to make it to Sunday…I still have two epic $1/$2 NL sessions to recount, along with a filming of NBC's Heads Up Poker Tournament. If I keep getting positive feedback, I keep posting.