So, I'd posted a while back in the hotels forum about this. My wife and I originally had planned a trip in May together, but it morphed from that into a girls' weekend! Hmmph. But I needed my vacation too, so I went to hotwire and found a rather cheap deal. When I'd paid, THEhotel was revealed.

I haven't stayed there before, and I'd heard mixed reviews about the Mandalay Bay property, but the price was certainly right. My wife and her friends had upgraded to a swanky room at the Cosmopolitan, but our paths would cross frequently.

The flight in was really bumpy. I'm not a good flier to begin with, and the desert winds always buffet the plane. Once we hit the ground, I'm fine, but this one was rough!

Arrived at 3pm on a Sunday, and there was no taxi line at all. The cab trip was very fast and cheap - one advantage to staying on the far south side!

Check in was also fast. Unfortunately, my first room wasn't quite what I'd hoped for. I think it was because I booked on hotwire, so they felt they could kind of dump me anywhere. I requested a strip view room, and was told that would be no problem. So I get to my room and open the window to a lovely view of...an air conditioning unit. I can see the Luxor behind it, so I guess it was technically strip view, but come on. I was also next to the ice machine, which was noisy. One other thing - as I was enjoying a post-flight urination, some guy from guest services just barges into the room! I was very surprised and upset by the lack of warning. Thank goodness I wasn't going #2! I yelled and he left.

I went to the pool for a couple hours of late afternoon sun, and upon return, I called the front desk to see if there was any chance at a different room. A very nice guy moved me to an upper floor with a terrific view. Yay! Inexplicably, the new room now had 2 queen beds. That was weird. But I'm just one medium-sized guy, so it was fine. Just strange.

THEhotel rooms are pretty nice. They are all suites, with a separate living room. However, the property is showing its age a bit - scuffs, dings, etc. They also say the rooms have flat-screen tv's. Well, no, not really. They are the old, big-box first-gen plasmas, set deep into wall recesses. So the screen is flat, I suppose, but there's about 2 feet of television behind the screen! Other funny touches - everything in the rooms is "THEsomething". I saw THEpen, THEpad, THEguide, and I swear I'm not kidding, but in the bathroom, there was a sticker on THEtp.

The rooms are dark wood, and are themselves pretty dark, even with the windows open. I think it must be the gold tinted windows. On the whole though, very comfortable.

This was the one night I was on my own, so I went to the Burger Bar for dinner. I had an absolutely delicious grilled lamb burger. I was astounded at how much I enjoyed it.

Then, to the poker room! Aesthetically, I think the Mandalay Bay room is gorgeous. It's right by the sports book, with nice tables and comfortable chairs. But they don't have the BRAVO system, so all tracking is done with these weird index cards. They must also have some rule where every 10 minutes, the dealers are required to tell everyone about the high hand / bonus promotions.

The first session went very well - in fact, it was the best session of my trip. The deck hit me in the head - my draws came in, my bluffs worked, I could do no wrong. I had AA flop a boat with two guys betting into me. I 2.5x'ed my buy-in and called it a night.

The next morning, after an in-room workout and a shower, I took a walk up the strip through the Luxor and Excalibur, with my destination goal being the MGM. The Luxor is really showing its age...nothing about the inside of that place was nice. It's very weird that the pyramid hotel hallways overlook the casino.

I got to MGM around 11:30, and watched while 2 locals who arrived after me somehow got put on the waiting list ahead of me. I should have taken that as a sign. When I finally got into a game, it was rough. My straight ran into a boat, my 2 pair ran into a higher 2 pair, I played poorly, and was card dead. I stopped the bleeding after losing just over a buy-in. I'd bought in a second time, but realized it wasn't feeling right, so I racked up.

The room was mostly empty, and it felt strange to be among so many idle tables. I'm sure the room gets busier at night. One of the dealers was saying that the manager heard the room was going to be moved again. It was very cold in the room, even though the temperature outside was over 100.

I wandered back the way I came. There was no game at the Excalibur and I didn't even want to check out the Luxor. I went to the MB pool instead. It's really a lovely pool area. There's a real sand beach in front of the wave pool, with smaller pools and a lazy river off to the sides. The cocktail runners are gorgeous. As it was a non-holiday Monday, the place wasn't too crowded. I got a nice chair, some liquid lunch, and went to work on my Kindle for a few hours.

For dinner, I met my wife and her friends at Lemongrass in the Aria. That's one of our go-to spots each trip. The portions are good, the price is (relatively) cheap, and we have never been disappointed. Tonight was no exception, and the food was uniformly delicious. The beef satay and the seafood drunken noodles are my favorites. I then went off to play more poker.

I peeked at the Aria room, but there was a long list, and if I'm being honest with myself, I'm not a great player - I'd rather not play in a well known shark tank! As I was leaving, an older guy in a cowboy hat nearly ran into me with his motor scooter. I got a closer look at him as he scowled at me for being in his way...wait...is that...? Yep, Doyle Brunson almost ran into me. He appeared to be coming from Ivey's room, and seemed very upset, so I didn't say anything to him. Maybe he had a bad session?

I headed back to the MB. Luxor and Excal both had a single table going, but I just didn't like the feel of either place, especially when compared to MB. This session continued the run of bad luck and bad play from the morning. I dropped a buy-in quickly, and had lost a good chunk of my second. Then, in two hands, I made it all up. I had KcKh and raised to $12 from early position. I got 6(!) callers. Flop came Qs9s5h. I bet out $40 (probably should have bet more?), and got called by two players. Turn was 6h. I open-shoved my last $150 or so. Next guy tanked and folded, and the last guy tanked for almost 5 minutes before folding. Neither one showed.

Very next hand, I had 7h8h UTG and raised to $7. I flopped the nut straight and my value bets got called all the way down by a different player. After that, I promptly went card dead again, and 2 orbits later, having not played a hand except my big blinds, I packed it up, with a small profit.

The next morning, after another workout and shower, I met the wife at Dragon Noodle in Monte Carlo for dim sum...except they no longer have dim sum! Ugh. We walked over to the Cosmo and went to China Poblano, which did have dim sum. It was rather spendy, but the food was excellent. The lamb potstickers were sublime.

I then followed yesterday's pattern of heading back to the MB pool and cooking in the sun.

For dinner, we went to Jaleo, a tapas place at the Cosmo. The variety and taste were wonderful, but the portions were tiny, even for a tapas place. I need to open one of these restaurants...$22 for 3 bites of cheese sounds like a wonderful profit margin to me.

My last poker night was supremely uneventful for me - I mostly sat and watched the crazy action at my table, unable to get any cards. The good thing was, this likely kept me out of trouble. There was a young crazy asian player who was KILLING the game. Everything he had, he hit. People were trying to take him out, but he kept hitting. When I sat down, he had about $400-$500 or so in front of him. When he cashed out, just about 90 mins later, he walked off with over $2000. In a 1-2 game! That was simply insane! As for me, I made a lengthy series of uninteresting and obvious decisions, and cashed out +$17 for the session. A win's a win, and far better than a loss, but anything would have felt insignificant after the asian guy's miracle.

The next day was the last. I checked out, and was chatting up the desk clerk. We both had a few things in common, and he wound up waiving the entire accumulation of "resort fees"! I tipped him well for his trouble. There are some nice people out there.

I had a little time, so I went to look at the shark reef and took lots of pictures. I grew up landlocked, so aquatic stuff fascinates me. They have a shallow tank where you can pet stingrays. It was pretty neat.

I had one last delicious lamb burger for lunch, and then played poker for 45 minutes. Nothing of note, I made $23, which would certainly cover my cab fare. So that was nice.

A relaxing semi-solo vacation was in the books, and I was back to the rainy northwest. I met my wife at the airport, and she informed me that she loved the Cosmo and it is the only place we will stay from now on. I could hear my wallet screaming in terror.