We got to LV on Thursday and there were 4 of us on the same flight. One bozo upgraded to first class while 3 of us got to board later and sit in the back with our fellow peasants. I warned Mr. Bozo that I was trying to figure out something to say as we passed by that would embarrass him and not get me kicked off the plane – it’s amazing how sensitive flight crews are these days, you just can’t make the comments you could way back in the day. He warned some of his First Class Playas that I was coming through with a smart ass comment so when I commented on how well Mr. Bozo’s medication seems to be working (“You can’t even see the rash on your face anymore”) his fellow playa joined the fun (“you can still see a little of it on the back of his neck”). Score one for Mr. Bozo.

Some friends had arrived earlier in the day and were already 3 sheets to the wind and texting trash to me. So when we got to the hotel checkout line I texted back that our plane had been delayed because of weather in LV and asked them if a sand storm was blowing around. One responded with disappointment that we were being delayed and the other responded by telling us that we should have flown first class and this wouldn’t have happened. Even sober I think my friend would have reasoned this problem through to
“you should have flown first class.” And the guy has a Masters degree.

While four of us spent a lot of time playing poker, three couples spent their time drinking, dancing, and partying and I think I missed out on a lot of fun. One couple finally decided they were way too drunk to continue and decided to call it a night and head back to their room. Somewhere along the way they lost their focus and ended up playing black jack, craps, etc. I think they ended up playing 4or 5 hours, won a bunch of money, and got screwed by the comp police at the MGM. Two people playing $25 a hand for 4or 5 hours got a complimentary buffet! Nice. One friend, Mr. Bozo, played 30 minutes of black jack at $25 a hand at Planet Hollywood and got 3 nights comped – and they are still sending him offers of free nights and entry into free roll tournaments.

We stepped away from the poker tables for a night with the friends and wound up at O’Shea’s where I played a game called craps. My friends had all played this game before but it was my first time. It’s an easy game where you roll dice and the casino people give you money. It’s a lot of fun but my friends were really bad at it. Whenever they rolled the dice the casino people took our money. I thought this was a little strange and really wanted to try rolling the dice myself to see why my friends were so bad. All but one of my friends left the table before I got to roll the dice which I guess was ok because I think they were pouring bad luck onto the table. I finally get the dice and pick two I think might not be as heavy as the others – the way my friends rolled the dice I got the impression the dice weighed a ton. I pick two very light dice and toss them down to the other end of the table. It turns out that if you roll a 7 on the come out you win money! So I rolled 3 or 4 sevens just to get the party started. Then I rolled a point and put money on a bunch of numbers on the table just like everyone else was doing. Then I started rolling those numbers and the casino people gave me (and everyone at the table) even more money. Every once in a while they’d take the money off the table and I’d have to put more out but I got to keep rolling the dice and managed to turn $85 into $300 before I rolled something really offensive and the casino people took the dice away from me.

On our way back to our hotel we walked through Caesars Palace and guess what! They had craps! We walked through the Monte Carlo (don’t ever stay there, the rooms were filthy) and they had craps tables too. They’re everywhere. I can’t wait to go back but I’ll need to be careful and avoid playing with people who aren’t lucky – that’s a recipe for disaster.

On Sunday I went over to the Fontana Lounge at the Bellagio to watch some of the WPT 5 Diamond Classic which was just starting. Last year we were there and I got to stand behind Phil Ivey and watch. When he got up he made eye contact with me and proceeded to give me the dirtiest look I’ve ever gotten without mouthing off to someone. This year things went a little smoother. I was walking around the edge of the room and headed to the doors to the patio when I saw him. I saw Phil Ivey sitting at a table right by the door I was headed to. Again, we made eye contact but I learned from my last experience and quickly diverted my eyes away and scurried out the door to the patio just as quickly and quietly as I could. From the patio I could see Phil Ivey through the glass doors texting his security staff to keep an eye on the weird middle aged man sitting on the patio. My WLP and a friend made it to the patio a little later on which was nice – I no longer looked like some freak stalker.

We were hanging out on the patio when there was a break and John Juanda was standing on the patio right behind me. He is definitely one of my favorite players. He’s a nice, quiet, unassuming guy with the mindset of an assassin. One of my all time favorite poker moments was when Juanda was in a hand and flopped a flush draw. He bet with the draw and was raised out of the pot. After mucking his hand he told his opponent he should have just checked and then chopped off his (his opponents) head when he made his flush on the turn. I think the hand might have been against Daniel Negreanu. Anyway, he is vicious and I love that. I wanted to get my picture taken with him but I just think it’s weird to bother someone for picture just because they are awesome.

I’m going to have to find a way to play in this event next year. I think I’m willing to sell a kidney if I can get them to keep it on ice so I can buy it back if I manage to cash (I suck at poker and am fairly stupid but I can be crazy lucky sometimes). Maybe I’d get to be at Phil Ivey’s table and he could intimidate me with his stare. I think I could win him over though if I won him a lot of money playing that craps game that seems to be in every casino. I bet Phil Ivey would like that game.