Disclaimers: My trips are never glorious or overly exciting. No huge gambling wins or losses. No high brow restaurants. No galavanting around town in limos. The trip basically was playing 2-4 limit poker for 10+ hours a day, every day while consuming beer, having laughs, and trying to forget about real life. I took ZERO notes this trip so I am absolutely sure that there will be gaps or straight up wrong info. Such is life when you go to bed at 4 and are up at 7 and still a bit tipsy from the night before....

This trip was supposed to be a screw 2011 / forget my life trip. Basically after returning home from my February trip life decided to kick me in the balls repeatedly. I wasn't going to go a second time this year but at one point I'd had enough and decided I was going to go full out this trip and try and put some things behind me. Didn't really get there and the hits kept/keep coming........but any trip to Vegas is a fun one, right? Had a large Vegas bucket list I wanted to work on...I think I only crossed off two. Sigh.

6/4
Dad gives me a ring 40 minutes before he's supposed to meet me for departure. I should have been expecting it. Drop off my car for repairs and he drives me to Charlotte. Zero line at security....I'm now at the gate more than 2hrs before departure. Sigh. Oh what's that? Flight delayed? Score!

We leave 25-30 minutes late........but make up time in the air. Connect in Minneapolis. Long flight but we arrive 30 minutes earlier than scheduled....that's a first for me! I put in a phone call to "Mr Funk" the author of the blog Las Vegas Cabbie Chronicles (awesome....check it out if you haven't). I get a lift in the funk mobile and have a great chat on the way to Harrahs. No tunnel, a chat in english, and meeting one of my favorite bloggers...good opening to the trip.

Check in at Harrah's was painless. Two people ahead of me in line. Saturday was $57 and the rest of the week was comped. Room 1870 in the Mardi Gras tower. Room was small but I had a great view of the Mirage. Dump my things and search out what I came to Vegas for.....poker and beer.

Harrahs poker room was only spreading NL, IP was spreading PLO and NL, on to the Flamingo. Grab a seat at a 2-4 limit table. 20 to 30 minutes later I recognize a face sitting down...one of my favorite IP dealers who was on his Friday. He's joined by another dealer and it was a very fun evening hanging out with the guys "off the clock". The cards were not kind to me but the cocktail waitress was. I WAY overdid with the Blue Moons. About 2-3am I decide to call it a night cashing in down $115-ish......a personal record.

I stumble (literally) back to Harrahs. For some reason I decide it's a good idea to sit down at a slot machine. Goldfish gives me back $50 of my losses. About 3:30 am I hit the hay.



6/5

Oooooof. Wow that's a hangover. I haven't slept that long in.......months if not years. Is it the alcohol, time change, or am I starting to let go of life's troubles? I shower and blearily wander downstairs. Im not hungry but know that I need to eat as it's been 20 or so hours since my last meal.

I end up at KGB- Kerry's Gourmet Burgers at Harrahs. There was a chef's special of the day- a burger with fried jalapenos, salsa something, aoili something, a jalapeno bun and fries. Dammmmmmmmn that was good. Hangover abating I seek out a poker game.

2-4 limit again at Flamingo. Four to five hour session and I end up up or down less than $40....see I didn't take good notes. About 6:30 I pack up and head across the street to Caesar's for Absinthe. I end up in line behind a group of professional escorts. Wow that was an entertaining and informative eavesdropping!

I had pre-purchased a ticket for Absinthe. I probably should have just hit a 1/2 price outlet (it was listed) but this did force me away from the tables. This show was AMAZING. I personally loved the vulgarity of it but it's not for everyone. The acrobatic acts are literally in your face....the roller skating bit enthralled and scared me at the same time....I could just imagine her flying out into the crowd. Think of the show as South Park meets Cirque and you're six feet from the action. I was in tears I was laughing at parts, "wow"-ing at certain acts, enamored with certain performers, and overall so happy I bought this ticket and left the tables.

After the show I check the IP poker room....still no kiddies game. Off to "dinner" at the Flamingo food court. 2 slices of overpriced under-heated pizza. Back to the Flamingo poker room for more 2-4limit debauchery and beer. No clue how I ended the session but I was on the "plus side" with alcohol consumption. Bed about 3-ish.


6/6
Up early. I end up at the Imperial Palace for the aces cracked promo. The running of the nits commences as Im the youngest at the tables by 15+ years. Played until noon with minimal profit. Left to eat and ended up at Quesadilla at the IP. Serviceable, quick food at reasonable prices. Back to the tables and IIRC had my kings cracked for $50 in the early afternoon. Table eventually broke and I ended up waltzing over to the Flamingo again.

Played about 4 hrs at the Flamingo and ended up even. Trip to the room to try and nap. About an hour later I'm up. Hmmmmm what to do? Stroll back to IP, eat an over-priced, under-flavored sandwich from Betty's Diner. I spend the night between the IP and Flamingo.........beer has taken most of these memories from me. Not way up, not way down, positive beer meter. I do remember, however, playing at the Flamingo. In the one seat was the poster child for a future stroke victim. He was this little guy wound tighter than anyone I've ever seen. He was being staked (yes, staked at 2-4L) and his backer was sitting behind him. Every time they won a pot (few and far between) they'd huddle and whisper that there were almost ahead. The guy was sticking with any pocket pair until the river hoping for his miracle set. He'd loudly bitch about how he was 0-14 etc etc. At one point he went on a run and was up $60-80. The twitches calmed down until I hit the nut flush against him. Mr. Jumpy was back. He'd disappear for "smoke breaks" and come back jumpier with his backer lamenting "bills". We all laughed when he donked off his profits set chasing. I love 2-4 but realize that this is not the way to pay the bills. I expect to lose (you cannot beat the rake and the chasing in the long run) and it was sad (but also a bit amusing) to see this guy sweating every card, celebrating $11 pots, and fidgeting like a meth head in withdrawl. Now that I think about it I did end up for the evening....hope I didn't take that guy's kids's grocery $.


6/7
Hmmmmmm missing memories and poor notes again. Played aces cracked at IP...zilch. Took a break and ate at Hash House a Go Go. Mmmmmmmmm good. Almost finished my plate.....almost. The bar is the way to go here. No line, semi quick service. Pay with points, tip, and back to my addiction.

I settle back in at IP for another 2-4 session. Ridiculously fun table. I've never laughed so hard in my life playing poker. We had a lady sit down who told the most ridiculous dirty, off-color, racist jokes she could. She had the dealers in tears, relentlessly flirting with the gentleman next to her, and just keeping everyone in stitches. Fun table with mild profits. The table breaks shortly after Flo leaves and I meander to the Flamingo. I play until about 8pm and head to Toby Keith's for dinner. Steak sandwich at the bar for the win.

Up to the room to freshen up and back to the tables. I hit up IP and play until 10:30 when the table breaks early. Sigh. I go to Flamingo and the list is 6 deep, go to Bills and the list is 3 deep with no movement. I end up across the street at the Mirage and get seated at a 3-6 table. There was a lot of action and I knew who to avoid....there was a very solid younger guy in the 10 seat. The rest didn't worry me. Unfortunately I was card dead as I watched ace high take down $50 pots or gutterball 2 pairs that they didn't know they have get there. To be continued.

6/8
Birthday day. The stroke of midnight found me at the same 3/6 table at the mirage. Very shortly after midnight the table broke and I moseyed back dead even to the Flamingo. I then sat down for what would be THE session of the trip.

I bought in for $100 and quickly got down. I topped up with $60 more. Then the heater started. I was playing loose....it was a fun table and I had more than a few beers in me. I started "getting there" almost every hand. Button straddles led to big pots...and I was taking down way more than my share. One hand that I have semi-memory of....button straddled that was 3 bet and called around. Told the guy two to my left that I'd give him $5 when I sucked out on the river. I flopped bottom pair and called a flop bet, turned a gutshot and called 2 bets, and hit the nuts on the river. Yep I'm a donkey but I got there. That pot was very close to if not over $100...crazy big for a 2-4 game. Guy was shell-shocked, tossed him a redbird, and he just kept shaking his head.

We had a local "pro" sit down about 3am. We just torched his stack and he left cussing and steaming. It was pure hilarity. We got down to 4 handed and were able to combine tables. Attempting to rack up.....I needed 4 racks. Crazy. The floor staff colored me up....stack of $25 chips. I've never had to do that before. At the new table my luck remains. Nut flush, BB special boat, etc. My last hand I turn the nut flush and get called to the river. I decided it was time to rack up despite the heater. I cashed out $410. That's $250 profit at a 2-4 table with no jackpot hands. Crazy run-good.

It's 5ish AM and I'm headed down the strip. Wallet a bit more flush, it's my birthday, and a slight buzz. I watch the hookers stumbling around looking for last minute scores....quite an amusing sight. I donk off a little cash in a slot machine and call it quits at 6am.

I'm up 3 hours later and can't go back to sleep. What should I do? Shower and back to the IP. I sit down shortly after 9am. I play until 1pm when I realize I haven't eaten. Club sandwich delivered to the poker table (yes I'm an addict). It's the only meal I pay cash for all trip. I play until 4pm...up $20 or so for the entire session. I think I should nap. I try. I end up back at the tables (yes I'm an addict) 7-ish. I sit down and there is a douche at in the 3 seat that has cast a dark cloud over the table. He was partly in the bag but I think also had Tourette's (he would often shake his head and bark....literally) but without a doubt the dude was a dick. He insulted several dealers (I missed him calling one the "C" word) and was warned repeatedly by the floor staff...how he didn't get thrown out I'll never know. He eventually busted and the table applauded as he stumbled off into the night.

About 2am I'm about even and decide I need to give myself a late birthday present. I end up with a 40minute table side massage. Worth every penny. Shortly afterwards I realize I'm done. Happily. Bed about 2-3am.


6/9

Last day. Sigh. Late start not getting to IP until 10am. I play until 2pm. Lunch at the Burger palace. Back to Harrahs to pack and take care of some business. Back to the tables by 4pm. I play straight until 9pm hitting my only quads of the trip (would have had hit it twice in the same session except I didn't hold on for runner runner deuces). Final kick in the balls is pocket 10s....flop AA10. Turn a blank, river A. Yep I'm no good. Say bye to my dealers, toss in a few extra tokes, and sadly head back to real life. Cab to the airport, red-eye home, and back to my dreary real life existence.

It was an odd trip. Good, sad, tiring, forgetful, but overall very needed. Unexciting for most people....even scary addictive sounding but when I'm at the poker table I can forget 95% of real life troubles. Until next time....hopefully February.

Special shout out to Michael, Cheryl, Shane, Ricky, Bryan, and Greg at the IP and Tang at the Flamingo. I'm sure I missed some others but y'all are the reason I keep coming back to those rooms.