I was woken up some time after noon by a few guys getting ready to head down to the pool at Paris for some afternoon lounging/drinking. I hadn't planned on such nice weather in Vegas, and was pleasantly surprised to find myself sweating profusely, cheap domestic beer in hand, a short while later. I refused suntan lotion and revelled in the sunlight.
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While coping with this dreary, neverending midwestern winter, it's easy to forget that there are places in this country where people are throwing frisbees or sitting on their stoops drinking 40's while people like me are stuck shivering in dark rooms, spooning their computers for warmth and dreaming of natural light.
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"It feels like God is rubbing my tummy," I commented to my friends as I watched my skin turn a brilliant shade of red.

We sat outside for several hours and drank beer by the bucketload. We ogled the girls who pranced around in G-strings and marveled at the wonders of silicon. "Who the hell would want to go to France, when we have a better version of Paris right here in America," I wondered. Eventually the shadows from the eifel tower began to overtake our area. We packed up le trash, left le pool, and took le walkway back to Bally's.

I showered and decided that it was time to get in my first $1/$2 NL session before our dinner reservations at Tao. I'd never played a cash game at Planet Hollywood, but I liked the room when I played a tournament there in September, so I gave it a shot. I sat in at a 6 player NL table, bought in for $200, and ordered a Heineken. The open seats were quickly filled up with 3 friends in their early 30's who went to lawyer school out east together. I admired their sports coats and listened to their light hearted banter & criticism of the terrible lounge piano player.

The lawyer-player sitting immediately to my left in the 7 seat was the most aggressive player that I've ever seen at a cash game. In late position he would raise preflop 80-90% of the time if the pot was unraised with any two cards. He would also raise about the same percentage of the time if the flop was checked. He leaned far back in his chair and spread his chuby legs out in front of him, infringing on my space. I tried to irritate him a bit by bumping into him repeatedly and running the wheels of my chair into his feet. His friend, in the 9 seat, began talking about how crazy his LAG buddy played. "In real life, he's really a nice guy!" He understood that this guy was bluffing a large portion of the tmie and they got involved in many hands together. The first showdown I saw between the two of them, the LAG went all in with Q high. He was called by his friend in the 9 seat who held 10 high but "knew he didn't have anything". It was a beautiful sight, and my poker face produced a wide grin.

I was thrilled to be at a table with this guy, and his proximity to me made it certain that we would eventually get involved in a hand. I tightened up my play and waited for quality hands while I watched this guy go bonkers while building up a nice chip stack. After a couple orbits, I'm dealt QQ. There are three limpers and I raised to $17. All called, including LAG to my left. The flop came out with no overcards, no flush draws. It's checked to me and I bet $40. LAG raised $60 more, it's folded around to me, and I call. I checked the turn, a K, and he bet another $60. I call. I checked the river and he checked behind, I confidently turn over my QQ and his cards go into the muck.

The very next hand I was dealt QQ again while I was still cleaning up my chips. I bet out $22 preflop this time under the gun and once again get callers. The LAG player tries talking to me to get information after I bet the flop. I guess he thinks silence=weakness. He raises on the flop and then calls me down to the river. He did not like to see QQ beat him once again. I made another $150-$200 on that hand.

I threw a few chips away for the next few orbits, loosened up my play a bit. I played my favorite hand, 8-10 suited, and flopped a flush. Knocked out a player...

Eventually the LAG player got involved in a big hand with a local. LAG had built up a substantial stack with big bluffs, massive overbets, etc. He threw away over $300 on a single hand, not calling the local's final move, an all in on the river, for only $80 more. The local shows his A high bluff and begins stacking chips. LAG is clearly irritated. I realized the compromised emotional state of the LAG, and began praying for a playable hand.

A couple hands later I am dealt JQ suited. A few players limped, as did I, and the LAG raised $20. Two players called, as did I, and the flop came J35. Checked to me and I bet $40. LAG raised $50. All folded and I called. Turn was an 8. I put out $50 and he started asking me questions again. I refused to respond. He raises $100 more. I call. River is a 5, pairing the board. I measure out his remaining chips and bet enough to put him all in. He calls, I flip, he mucks…muttering something about my kicker. His friend began needling him for throwing away a stack that was once close to $1,000. The LAG stood up and left the table. I stood up and grabbed some racks…out the door +$618 in less than two hours. That was by far the easiest money that I have ever won at a poker table.

A little bit later on we all went over to Tao at the Venetian for a group dinner. It took a while to get seated, so we were stuck ordering expensive drinks and trying to look cool as the extraordinarily beautiful young women streamed in and out. The dining room features a massive stone buddha, lots of candles on the wall, and waiters who clearly don't give a damn. My brother looked up at the buddha gazing down upon him and imagined a club called "Christianity" featuring a massive Jesus & Crucifix in the middle of the dining room…a wine list labelled "Bible"…waiters dressed like priests. "I don't know," I say, "I don't think Taoists get angry like Christians do."

The food sucks and is on par with reheated Leann Chins. That wouldn't be a terrible thing if it didn't cost about 5 times more. In retrospect, it made sense that the waiter didn't return to check up on us. We enjoy the atmosphere, pay the bill and tip the terrible waiter what he deserved. No one is in a mood to stick around and pay a $40 cover to club, and the $10 tip might raise a few eyebrows, so we retreated back to Bally's. I got drunk playing a little no limit, stayed even, and continued drinking at a $3/$6 limit table to round out the night. I'm down $90 when our table breaks up at about 3 or 4 AM and am left with two $5 chips.

Rather than go to bed I head over to the roulette table. Earlier that night I had been talking about how much more money the roulette tables started to make once they began listing the numbers on the electronic board…people would see black hitting 4 times in a row and start betting heavily on red, not realizing that it's just as likely to continue hitting red as it is black.

I approached the table and saw that black had been showing up about 75% of the recent spins. I shrug my shoulders and follow Wesley Snipes' advice, "Always bet on black." I placed my two $5 chips down on the black felt.

$10-->$20. I looked at the lady who was spinning the wheel and issued the challenge, "Either I make $100 or I lose it all." I stacked the winnings on black again. $20-->$40. I stacked my winnings on black again. $40-->$80. I took a drunken moment, looked nervously at the $80, and said, "You know, continuing on like this just seems silly." She nodded her head in agreement. I took my chips off the table, but she spun the wheel for me anyway…it came up red and I got to go bed with a smile on my face.

Part 5, Rum Jungle, Zero Degree Russian room, & the all-nighter at MGM.