The highlight of the trip was the ease of travelling solo, leaving behind the luggage and car seats and backpacks, etc. that are required when travelling with the wife and kids. At some point during the weekend I realized my wife packs more pieces of luggage than I do pairs of underwear (that is a negative commentary on her, not me). In any case, I had my one carry on and sat in the 2nd row. Total elapsed time to depart the plane, walk through the airport, take the tram, catch a cab, ride to Harrahs, check in, unpack, freshen up and walk over to Mirage to meet my dad (Vegas local) and sister and her family (also in town from MI) was 1 hour 5 minutes. Brilliant.

For some semi-irrational reason I really wanted to start the trip off with a nice salad with grilled chicken and a big glass of ice cold water. Anywhere to eat was fine with me, just as long as they could provide some greens with fowl on top and it didn¡¦t cost like $30. A cleansing meal, as it were, before the debauchery of 3.5 days of poker. This was all I wanted.

My family was off to do tourist stuff at Mirage so I went to BB Kings. The menu had exactly what I was looking for so I went in and grabbed a seat at a wooden counter kind of opposite the bar. Unfortunately the service was horrible (45 minute wait for a salad when the place was not busy at all and somehow asking twice for no tomatoes resulted extra tomatoes), so I left sans dinner. From here I had an incredible streak of events where one restaurant after another was a dud, and ultimately I had to abandon my plan and wolf down a somewhat okay burger and fries at Bills. So much for starting the trip with a cleansing meal...

Thus began my trip¡Khungry, grumpy, unsatisfied and pissed that I couldn¡¦t get competent service or a freaking salad. It put me on life tilt. Sadly this turned out to be a theme for the whole trip: it was virtually impossible to get a decent meal with competent service the entire weekend. Breakfast places were impossible to get into in the morning (memo to Harrah¡¦s properties (other than Hash House) ¡V there are a lot of people in this town staying in hotels and they might want food in the morning so you should staff appropriately). The Thai place at Aria was just okay. KGB Burger at Harrahs was fast but the food was very average. The only solid meal I had was at Wynn. It was great. Food was excellent. Service was great. The setting was fabulous ¡V we were overlooking the pool, under tree shade, etc¡K.until a bird flew by and shat on my shirt. Yes, it was going to be that kind of a trip.

Poker was played and money was lost. Basically it was just one of those trips where I never could gain any traction, got outplayed in a key hand, was card dead for much of the trip, virtually never had a big hand hold up and got drawn out on several times, etc. Some highlights:

1-3 at Wynn. A new game opened and I was seated at a table with a couple of gentlemen who appeared to have nominal experience but bought in for the max of $500. One guy in particular must have called down I don¡¦t know how many times with 2nd pair bad kicker type hands. I finally catch a hand ¡V KK ¡V and proceed with my plan to take him to value town. He obliges by calling me down; unfortunately the cards did not cooperate, going runner runner to turn his A7s into a flush (no pairs for him, just the A and eventual flush). Nice.

2-5 at Mirage. I had been at the table about an hour and hadn¡¦t played a hand, maybe not even my blinds. I finally catch a playable hand ¡V 22 ¡V from the SB and limp to the flop: 2, 8, J. I check and Villain bets $45. I raise to $145, more than happy to take down a small pot after the way the trip had been going. V calls. Hmm. Turn is a 10. With >$300 in the pot and $200 behind I shove figuring if this is set over set I¡¦m paying the guy. V snap calls with 9, Q. Dude called another $100 to an inside straight draw and hit it. Eff me. I say ¡§Nice hand sir¡¨ and walk to Casino Royale where I proceeded to drink an insane volume of $1 beers and comped 7&7s (it always pays to tip the staff).

1-3 at Aria. I got caught making a move (it happens) then went incredibly card dead for the next 4 or 5 hours, which was particularly painful as 3 friends joined the table who almost literally didn¡¦t know how to play the game (dealer had to explain what a blind bet was to one guy). It was incredibly painful seeing all them give their chips away to everyone at the table except for me.

1-2 at Harrahs. Nothing memorable. Actually like the room but I kept being seated at tables where I just wasn¡¦t comfortable, play was immensely slow, I was card dead, had a bad vibe, etc. One session I left before the blinds came to me. Sometimes you just know.

1-2 at Ballys. Great action game. A lot of money flying around. Two hands of importance. First, I hadn¡¦t been at the table very long. UTG +1ish raises to like $16. Very active lady to my right calls. I look down at KK and make it $50. Initial raiser calls and lady folds. Flop: 10, J, blank. Initial raiser check calls my $50 bet. Turn brings another 10 and initial raiser goes all in for about $190. I have him covered but as I thought through the hand I could come up with about 3 hands that beat me and only one that I beat. Believing that most 1-2 players play pretty straight forward and reflecting that I hadn¡¦t seen this guy get out of line I folded my K¡¦s face up. He showed Q¡¦s. Nicely played but ouch. Second, I get in a hand with active lady, trying to felt her with a disguised hand. My 3,4h looks beautiful with a 5, 6, 7 flop until the money gets in the middle and lady turns over 8, 9. Eff me again. The 2nd instance of having someone make the nuts against me after watching them splash chips with lesser holdings. The turn brought a 4th heart, but as I¡¦m genetically incapable of drawing out on someone the river bricks and I¡¦m felted. Ouch.

Noon $70 tourney at Sante Fe Station. (I left Harrahs and stayed at my dad¡¦s for Father¡¦s Day; SFS is his favorite place to play and even though I begged him not to play poker because I was licking my wounds from a brutal weekend on the felt he really wanted to play together so I obliged). Even though I know it likely is a form of cheating I accepted my dad¡¦s offer that we split any tourney or jackpot winnings (hey, it was Fathers¡¦ Day, what are you gonna do?). I make it the final three, the paying spots. Big stack doesn¡¦t want to chop. I¡¦m about even with Button, who folds. I look down at A9 and after checking the payouts (mistake) shoved. Big stack BB calls with K8 and a K comes in the window, and still being genetically incapable of drawing out on someone, I am done. This is the one instance where I affirmatively play well but after tipping the dealing 5% of net and splitting the winnings with my dad I realize a whopping profit of $25. I actually got a sadistic kind of chuckle out of that. Anyway, I couldn¡¦t get my dad to leave the casino and I proceeded to lose more than that at 2-4 limit (I did get AA for the only time¡Kbut it was a loose 2-4 limit game, I was in the SB and the flop was 8c9c9s. As I said, it was just one of those trips.) and VP machines.

Okay, enough about poker and restaurants. Other memorable events from the weekend:

Fremont Street was a trip. I¡¦ve been there before but don¡¦t really remember it quite like this. There was the group from Bust Out Bail Bondsmen shooting a commercial (?) featuring women with very tight wife beater shirts with the company name across their chests (Picture it in your mind and say the name of the company aloud). One of the ladies had size K boobs ¡K think about that for a second. A, B, C, D, double D, triple D¡K..K. There were two stages set up with 80¡¦s cover bands. There was the 80ish year old crippled Marine in dress blues begging for money (sad). There was the ¡¥gentleman¡¦ in the urinal next to me with a Coleman cooler at his feet with a sticker across the top declaring it was to be used for pharmaceuticals or body parts or something. Said gentleman proceeded to punch himself very hard in the temple, after which some mostly unintelligible gibberish started coming from his mouth. Unfortunately the words that could be understood were ¡§Kill¡¨, ¡§Dead¡¨, ¡§I will kill¡¨, ¡§They¡¦ll all be dead¡¨, etc. Talk about getting stage fright and shrinkageƒº There was the assortment of street performers, seemingly professional impersonators and showgirls. There was the chance meeting of Ms. Texas¡¦ family at Casino Royale. Very nice people who were understandably proudly displaying buttons and passing out business cards for Ms. Texas. Meanwhile back at Harrahs there was the adult midget in a diaper positioned in the middle of the casino doing some sort of promotion. I am sure there is more that I¡¦m forgetting¡K

Speaking of Harrahs, this turned out to be a great place to stay. The location was excellent. The room was surprisingly good (better than the upgraded rooms at Bally¡¦s for example, maybe just a step below NYNY). The only negative for me was that I didn¡¦t like the casino itself. Especially considering the crazy good rate I got this is small potatoes. I would definitely stay there again on a guys trip.