There is a dealer named Stuart there. They call him Stu sometimes, and shit4brains other times. He dealt me AA, aka Pocket Rockets, aka American Airlines, aka ones, aka Teepees, aka Bullets, aka Alan Alda. I raised preflop, it must have been about two fiddy, maybe tree fiddy I put out there. Some one ponied up the money taking a temporary loan from a friend with 20% juice. This guy had AK, aka Anna Kournikova, aka Big Slick, aka King Arthur, aka Korean Airlines, aka The Big Ugly. Stuart proceeds to throw out a flop. The flop done come 10 5 2 with three different suits, aka Rainbow Flop, aka Badugi Flop. The turn was a Jack. One of those one eyed sons a guns. The guy with the AK stands up and with all his might says "queen me!!" Which was weird because in checkers you get kinged once you get to the opposing players side of the board, so it makes no sense when he says that. So Stuart makes a fist, clenched tight like he is about to wail on someone, and he does wail on someone, metaphorically, after he taps the table twice with his fist signaling he is about to turn the last card over, aka The River. This is the part Stuart wailed on me. He "queened him" just like the guy asked for. The guy had nothing on the flop, he had to hit the turn and the river just right, aka Back Doored, aka Runner Runner, aka Nothin Funner Than Runner Runner. So I lost about tree fiddy I guess. Then there I was, sitting in seat 6 on table number 3, facing my own poker mortality as my Bullets couldnt penetrate Anna Kournikova. My Rockets couldnt out launch King Arthur. His Korean Airliner flew down from the sky and crashed into my Teepees. I was bested, crushed, and humiliated right in my back yard. I had to go home a broken man and look my dog Dee Oh Gee (D-O-G) right in the eyes and tell him "there will be no kibble tonight, daddy done bad". Of course I dont think Dee Oh Gee understood me as I have yet to teach him english, as it hasnt been on top of my to-do list, and has slid down that list further since losing that tree fiddy. One thing has moved well up that list though, yet is beginning to come off that list, as leaving this review for Stuart was that item that leap frogged such things as teaching Dee Oh Gee english and learning how to tie my shoes so I can stop wearing sandals and crocs to the top of the list. I dont know how Stuart lives with himself after doing such an awful thing to me. He has been dealing for a decade, but failed to do his job adequately there.
Thank you for reading my review, I hope this review helps someone avoid the crippling agony of defeat like I felt then. Fold your AA pre and this pain will not be bestowed upon you by the likes of Stuart.
